IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause for the countries they leave? What can be done to deal with this situation?

Nowadays, many societies are facing challenges
due to
Linking Words
 rapid changes in lifestyle and technology. It has been universally accepted that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 expert
people
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 are moving to well-developed
region
Fix the agreement mistake
regions
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 for a better future is escalating at an alarming
rate
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. The obstacle is the prevalence of depression among the masses, regardless of any attempt to advance. There are a range of reasons behind it, and its possible solutions can be suggested too, which are discussed as follows. Regarding the problems, the major reason can be stated as a migration of skilled community from one country to another.
This
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 happened
due to
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 unemployment in their own country, because doctors and teachers spend a lot of money on their education.
For instance
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,
people
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 in underdeveloped countries are facing many difficulties in getting a good job. To get a reasonable job in a reputed institute has become a tough task
,
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;
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 insist
people
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to
Verb problem
are forced to
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 move abroad for a good career.
Although
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,
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apply
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 there are many advancements in modern techniques, nations that are not well developed leave their own home country to secure their future. Another important consideration is the low opportunity
rate
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. As an illustration,
people
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such
Linking Words
 as doctors and professional teachers are experts in their field, but they do not get good opportunities.
In addition
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 to these, awareness is an important factor to know. Seeing the problems with brighter mind, many solutions can be helpful to curb
this
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 menace.
To begin
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 with, if the government give better opportunities to the public, it will reduce the migration
rate
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.
Secondly
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, Awareness is very important
,
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;
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 without proper awareness and training,
people
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 cannot get rid of
this
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 dilemma. In conclusion, solving a global obstacle is not easy, but with the efforts of
people
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, control can be taken over the problems with the aforementioned suggested measures. An increasing
employment
Correct article usage
the employment
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rate
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 and giving better chances of opportunities,
this
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 complication can be solved.
Therefore
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, it is important that both
citizenry
Correct article usage
the citizenry
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 and individuals work together to overcome
this
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 situation for a better future.

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structure
Make two clear parts: first, the problems in the home country; second, how to fix them. Each part in its own paragraph.
structure
Use one idea per paragraph and start with a clear topic sentence.
content
Use simple, direct examples that connect to the task, like job chances, pay, and health care.
coherence
Use linking words to show how ideas connect; e.g., also, but, finally.
language
Check grammar and spell words simply; keep to short sentences.
structure
Finish with a short conclusion that restates the main idea.
content
Some good ideas are shown about why people move (jobs, pay).
structure
There is an attempt to give two sides (problems and fixes).
content
Examples with doctors and teachers are used.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Brain drain
  • Skilled professionals
  • Healthcare systems
  • Education systems
  • Economic growth
  • Dependency on foreign aid
  • Social inequality
  • Quality healthcare
  • Quality education
  • Retain talent
  • International cooperation
  • Sustainable growth
  • Scholarships
  • Professional development
  • Remote work capabilities
  • Local research funding
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