the graph below gives information on rhe numbers of paricipants for different activities in melbrone australia for the period 2000 to 2020

the graph below gives information on rhe numbers of paricipants for different activities in melbrone australia for the period 2000 to 2020
IELTS Writing Task Chart for the graph below gives information on rhe numbers of paricipants for different activities in melbrone australia for the period 2000 to 2020
The line graph compares the
numerous
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
number of individuals who were involved in different activities at the social centre in Melbourne,
Australiua
Correct your spelling
Australia
in between 2000 to 2020
Overall
Linking Words
,the film club was higher by a significant difference than the others. The musical performance didn’t record any participants until 2005,whilst the amateur dramatics had a close
proportions
Fix the agreement mistake
proportion
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at the beginning of 2000,but the amateur dramatics went through a dramatic
decrease
Punctuation problem
decrease,
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while
Linking Words
the other increased. The film club was mostly steady with no big fluctuations , and had the highest percentage in all time
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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was
in
Change preposition
apply
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between 60-70%.Following the film club is the material arts,
it
Correct pronoun usage
its
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proportion was
in
Change preposition
apply
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between 30-40%,but only lasted
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
secound
Correct your spelling
second
place
Use synonyms
until 2015. After 2015 the amateur dramatics has taken the
place
Use synonyms
of the material arts to be the second highest,
Linking Words
In
Fix capitalization
in
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contrast
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
being in
last
Linking Words
place
Use synonyms
at the beginning of 2000. The table tennis had an acceptable amount of visitors until
2005
Punctuation problem
2005,
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where it had a big decrease to become lower than 10% in 2020,and the musical performance had a good start with its number
rosing
Use the right word
rising
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from 0% in 2005 to around 20% in 2020 to end
uo
Correct your spelling
up
in fourth
place
Use synonyms
.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words place with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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