IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Today the internet has replaced traditional books as a source of information.Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this development.

Nowadays, online
book
Use synonyms
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
show examples
 have developed dramatically.
While
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 prefer reading
e-
Use synonyms
books
Use synonyms
 rather than physical
books
Use synonyms
, others still enjoy reading traditional
books
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will explain both
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
 of view and discuss
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. On the one hand, it is undeniable that physical
books
Use synonyms
 have engaging points
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 compared to online
books
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, it can be kept in houses for a long time to pass it down to your children.
People
Use synonyms
 can recall their
memory
Fix the agreement mistake
memories
show examples
 vividly by reading the
book
Use synonyms
 they once read
by
Punctuation problem
, by
show examples
 the little
tear
Fix the agreement mistake
tears
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the pages or the notes written in the
book
Use synonyms
. You can
also
Linking Words
 cherish the
book
Use synonyms
 all
life
Correct pronoun usage
your life
show examples
long
Rephrase
apply
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 the higher price of purchasing.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
e-
Use synonyms
books
Use synonyms
 are very handy and easy to tote in any situation.
For example
Linking Words
, when studying abroad, if you were to bring 5 different paper
books
Use synonyms
, it would be significantly demanding.
E-
Correct article usage
An e-book
show examples
book
Use synonyms
 helps students to study in international circumstances.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 can easily change the size of the text in the
book
Use synonyms
 to make
people
Use synonyms
 with poor vision,
such
Linking Words
 as the disabled
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and the elderly
people
Use synonyms
 comfortable in reading. There is even a service that can read the sentences in the
book
Use synonyms
 to study the pronunciation,and to help busy
people
Use synonyms
 listen to the
book
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 doing other tasks.
In addition
Linking Words
, most of the time
e-
Use synonyms
books
Use synonyms
cost
Verb problem
are
show examples
effective
Correct word choice
cost-effective
show examples
 than the traditional
book
Use synonyms
, because of the
less
Correct word choice
lower
show examples
 cost of materials needed.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
e-
Use synonyms
books
Use synonyms
 and traditional
Use synonyms
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 both benefits and drawbacks. Paper
books
Use synonyms
 can be kept for generations to keep good memories,
while
Linking Words
e-
Use synonyms
books
Use synonyms
 have the merit of effective learning by making it effortless to carry around and cost-effective.
However
Linking Words
, considering
lifestyle
Correct article usage
the lifestyle
show examples
 in
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
show examples
 era,
e-
Fix the agreement mistake
e-books
show examples
book
Use synonyms
 can be suitable for the majority of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 living in
costly
Correct article usage
a costly
show examples
 and busy life,
due to
Linking Words
 the convenience of the product.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Plan the essay with a clear dip. Open with a short line that says you will see two sides. Then give one paragraph on each side and finish with a short view.
grammar
Fix small grammar and word choice. Use 'has' not 'have'. Use 'easy to carry' not 'tote'.
cohesion
Make links from one part to the next. Use words like 'first', 'also', 'but', 'however'.
lexis
Add more clear facts. Show how online books can save money or help study in many places, and how paper books can stay long and be a mark of life.
grammar
Check spelling and wrong form of words. Keep a steady tone.
structure
The text shows two sides and a quick close.
content
Examples like study abroad and font change are good ideas.
conclusion
The conclusion sums up the view.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: