IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

More and more people nowadays visit well-known places to take photographs of themselves, without looking at tl1e place. Why do you think this is happening? Is it a positive or a negative trend?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
Nowadays
Punctuation problem
Nowadays,
show examples
 many
people
Use synonyms
 come to
visiting
Wrong verb form
visit
show examples
 the popular place to take photographs of
themselves
Punctuation problem
themselves,
show examples
 meanwhile
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 are not looking at the place. In my opinion, I think
this
Linking Words
situsation
Correct your spelling
situation
 happened for a
short-period
Use the right word
short period
show examples
 and
this
Linking Words
trend
Use synonyms
 seems to
like
Verb problem
be like
show examples
 a fashion. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss
this
Linking Words
 topic in both positive and negative
to
Check wording
ways to
show examples
 explain.
Body paragraph 1
Firs
Use the right word
First
show examples
 of all,
It
Fix capitalization
it
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 many positive
about
Check wording
aspects about
show examples
people
Use synonyms
come
Wrong verb form
coming
show examples
 to
visiting
Wrong verb form
visit
show examples
 landmarks
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 take photos
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 growth in that area.
For example
Linking Words
,
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
 Chaingmai
Thailand
Punctuation problem
Thailand,
show examples
 have a small
village
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the top of the mountain
,
Punctuation problem
. This
show examples
this
Linking Words
 place
very
Verb problem
is very
show examples
 popular
to take
Change preposition
for taking
show examples
Change preposition
in mountains
show examples
mountains
Fix the agreement mistake
mountain
show examples
view
Correct subject-verb agreement
views
show examples
, so many tourists come
visit
Verb problem
to visit
show examples
 in
early
Correct article usage
the early
show examples
 morning to see the views
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
this
Linking Words
trend
Use synonyms
brings
Verb problem
has helped
show examples
 the
village
Use synonyms
 grow-up in economy for local
people
Use synonyms
 and
Linking Words
also
Verb problem
has also
show examples
have
Verb problem
led to
show examples
 more
deverlop
Correct your spelling
development
 from
small
Correct article usage
a small
show examples
 town to
medium
Correct word choice
a medium-sized
show examples
 town.
This
Linking Words
 can show
it
Correct word choice
that it
show examples
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 good benefits for rural areas.
Body paragraph 2
In another way,
It
Fix capitalization
it
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 some problems
accur
Correct your spelling
arising
 from
this
Linking Words
trend
Use synonyms
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as traffic jams in the small
village
Use synonyms
, noise
pollution
Use synonyms
 and air
pollution
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is same
village
Use synonyms
 in Chaingmai,
Thailand
Punctuation problem
Thailand,
show examples
becomes
Wrong verb form
is becoming
show examples
 more and more popular for many
people
Use synonyms
 come to
visiting
Wrong verb form
visit
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 it has destroyed
Correct article usage
the nature
show examples
nature
Replace the word
natural
show examples
 environment, air
pollution
Use synonyms
fron
Correct your spelling
from
 traffic jams and noise
pollution
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 can show negative things from
this
Linking Words
trend
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
, either
show examples
either
Rephrase
too
show examples
.
Conclusion
In Conclusion,
Visiting
Fix capitalization
visiting
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
famous places
from
Change preposition
as
show examples
tourist
Correct article usage
a tourist
show examples
visitor
Check wording
apply
show examples
can
make
Verb problem
have
show examples
positive
Correct pronoun usage
both positive
show examples
 and negative in the same time.
This
Linking Words
 can lead to the government
come
Wrong verb form
coming
show examples
 to
helping
Wrong verb form
help
show examples
 in
deverloping
Correct your spelling
developing
 to help the
people
Use synonyms
 in rural areas.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Plan your essay. Make a small plan with one view, why, example, and result.
cohesion
Use clear links. Use words like now, also, but, and then to join ideas.
content
Stick to one main idea and give a short example for it. Do not add many ideas.
language
Check grammar. Use short, simple sentences. Use plain words.
balance
The essay shows both good and bad sides of the topic.
example
An example from a real place is used to back a point.
idea
The idea that tourism can help local money is shown.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • selfie
  • social media
  • influencer
  • validation
  • personal branding
  • cultural significance
  • historical context
  • photography
  • commodification
  • narrative
  • experience
  • landmark
  • consumer experience
  • instant gratification
  • aesthetic
  • capturing moments
  • superficiality
  • exploration
What to do next:
Look at other essays: