IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that sports lessons are a waste of time. Write an article for your school newspaper, giving your views.

In today’s education system, there is an ongoing debate about whether
sports
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 lessons should remain part of the curriculum.
While
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 some argue that these classes take away valuable study
time
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, I strongly believe that
sports
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 are not only beneficial but essential for
students
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.
To begin
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 with,
sports
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 contribute significantly to physical and mental health. At a
time
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 when many
students
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 spend hours sitting in classrooms or using digital devices,
sports
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 provide the movement necessary to stay fit, energetic, and focused. Regular exercise through school
sports
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 can reduce stress, increase concentration, and even improve academic performance.
Furthermore
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,
sports
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 lessons equip
students
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 with vital life skills that academic subjects alone cannot provide. Discipline, teamwork, leadership, and resilience are qualities that naturally develop through participation in
sports
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. These skills are directly transferable to everyday life, whether it be working in groups, managing
time
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 effectively, or overcoming challenges. Admittedly, some people highlight that
sports
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 can consume valuable
time
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 and may lead to injuries.
However
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, with careful planning and proper supervision, these risks can be minimised. In fact, learning to balance academics with extracurricular activities teaches
students
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time
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 management, which is an important skill in itself. In conclusion,
sports
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 lessons are far from a waste of
time
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. They enhance health, build character, and prepare
students
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 for the future.
Instead
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 of cutting down on them, schools should embrace
sports
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 as a crucial part of holistic education.

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Task Response
Add one or two real school examples to back up your points.
Coherence and Cohesion - Logical Structure
Make the plan in the essay clearer. Start each par with one main idea and end with a line that links to the next idea.
Coherence and Cohesion - Introduction
Begin each paragraph with a small statement of what it will talk about so the reader looks ahead.
Language Use
Use only easy words and short sentences so the reader can read with ease.
Task Response
Finish with a short last line that shows your main view and what you want schools to do.
Strength
The view on the topic is clear.
Strength
The essay has a good flow and uses simple link words.
Strength
The idea of sport helping both body and mind is shown.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • health
  • body
  • mind
  • learn
  • work
  • team
  • play
  • move
  • time
  • school
  • class
  • plan
  • idea
  • goal
  • good
  • bad
  • better
  • help
  • problem
  • solution
  • safe
  • fair
  • win
  • lose
  • choice
  • change
  • often
What to do next:
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