IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Are social media platforms a distraction in education?

Social
media
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 is a distraction for
students
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. These days, lots of
students
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 have their own
phones
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 and social
media
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 accounts.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
students
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 themselves may not notice, but their parents notice that electronic devices and social
media
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 are distracting for
students
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.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
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 it is a communication app for
students
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that
Correct word choice
where
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 they can take
lessons
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 and learn lots of things from social
media
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. And many
people
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 argue that it is for
education
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 or it is just for entertainment. Some
people
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 claim that nowadays social
media
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 is for
education
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 and studying.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
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 they believe that the younger generation is using social
media
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 for
education
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many
people
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 think that social
media
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 platforms make young
people
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 lazy and distract them from
lessons
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. Supporters of social
media
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 believe that
students
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 can easily
reach
Verb problem
access
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 information for their
education
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 with social
media
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. The question is whether
students
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 can benefit from it without distraction. During school
hours
Punctuation problem
hours,
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 many teachers argue that all the
students
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 are engaged with their
phones
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 and not
socializing
Change the spelling
socialising
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 with other
students
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. It is because social
media
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 is really distracting them from the real world. They can put aside the
phones
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 during the school period
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 we can easily solve
this
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 problem. Regarding
this
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issue
Add a comma
issue,
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 some
people
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 claim that
students
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 communicating and taking
lessons
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 from social
media
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 is safe
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 they really believe that
this
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 is way better and easier than
face to face
Use the right word
face-to-face
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, during
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lessons
Add a comma
lessons,
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 many
students
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 play with their
phones
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, use social
media
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 and
not
Verb problem
do not
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 pay attention to the
education
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 their teachers give. Others strongly believe that face-to-face learning is more important for social skills for young
people
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. In conclusion, the problem can be solved by the
students
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. If they use it for
Use synonyms
education
Punctuation problem
education,
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 they can benefit from it. From my point of view, I believe that social
media
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 is distracting for
students
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but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 it can be used for
education
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 too if they use it in the proper way.

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planning
Plan the essay first. Write a short start that shows your view. Then write 2 or 3 clear body parts. End with a clear conclusion.
structure
Make the idea flow clear. Use one idea in each paragraph with a line at the end that links to the next idea.
grammar
Fix long and ran-on sentences. Use punctuation well. Break long sentences into two or three short ones.
lexical
Use simple, exact words. Do not try to use big or new words. Say what you mean in a plain way.
content
Add a small, real example from school life to back up a point. This helps show proof.
stance
The writer shows both sides and has a final view.
writing
There is a clear idea of the topic and some easy-to-read lines.
structure
Intro and conclusion exist in the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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