IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It is sometimes suggested that primary school children should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals. Do you think that the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people argue that young students should be taught how to grow plants and take care of animals at
school
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.
While
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 there may be certain drawbacks, I firmly believe that the benefits of
this
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 approach clearly outweigh the disadvantages. At present, many
school
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 children are taught a wide range of subjects at
school
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.
However
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, they ought to learn how to grow some kinds of plants and look after types of animals.
This
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 is because,
although
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 there are many subjects that provide essential knowledge, preserving the
environment
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 is the most valuable. If children who study at
school
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 are introduced to
this
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 subject, they will understand the importance of preserving the
environment
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 and develop a love for it.
As a result
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 of learning
such
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 a subject, they will avoid hurting the
environment
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, and they will attempt to contribute to saving nature.
Therefore
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,
this
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 clearly shows that teaching
such
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 skills is a significant advantage for children's education.
Nevertheless
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,
this
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 method may cause some difficulties in practice. Since providing
this
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 education exactly depends on the
school
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's budget.
This
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 is
because
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because,
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obviously
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obviously,
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 additional educators would be required in order to introduce the subject effectively to learners
and
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, and
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 separate facilities
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together
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, together
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 with various types of
equipment
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equipment,
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 would
also
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 be necessary for
this
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 project.
Therefore
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, these financial and logistical issues make
this
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 approach difficult to implement in many schools. In conclusion,
although
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 introducing environmental subjects at
school
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 might be costly and challenging, the long-term benefits clearly outweigh the drawbacks.
Hence
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, I strongly believe that
such
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 education is crucial for raising awareness and protecting the
environment
Use synonyms
 for future generations.

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structure
Plan before you write. Use a clear plan with one idea per paragraph and a short leading sentence for each paragraph.
grammar
Keep to short, simple sentence length. Break long lines into two or three pieces to help the reader.
task
Clear view and good start of answer.
coherence
Use of linking words such as however and therefore to show flow.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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