IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people think that job satisfaction is more important while other people think that a stable job is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is widely known that
people
Use synonyms
 in the modern world
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
need employment because of
rising
Correct article usage
the rising
show examples
 population.
As well as
Linking Words
,there are
couple
Correct article usage
a couple
show examples
different
Change preposition
of different
show examples
 opinions that most individuals consider that a person might be delighted when
works
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
job
Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
they wants
show examples
wants
Correct subject-verb agreement
want
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
,some
people
Use synonyms
 firmly believe that the most
thing
Correct word choice
important thing
show examples
 is a stable
job
Use synonyms
 in life.That's why
this
Linking Words
 essay will outline both advantages and disadvantages. On the one hand,it
absolutely
Verb problem
is absolutely
show examples
 true that individuals need
work
Use synonyms
 to live in good life.What's more,
unemployment
Correct article usage
the unemployment
show examples
 rate is rapidly growing because of
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
 birth rate.That's why humans suffer from unemployment ,and
also
Linking Words
 those are forced to
work
Use synonyms
 any stable jobs ,even do not want to
do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
.In many
conditions
Add a comma
conditions,
show examples
 it is too hard to
work
Use synonyms
 that some managers treat harshly to employees
.
Rephrase
harshly.
show examples
Therefore
Linking Words
, in many areas,especially,developed conditions
Use synonyms
people
Punctuation problem
, people
show examples
 are obliged to
do
Verb problem
commit
show examples
 minor and major crimes to earn more money.In
short
Punctuation problem
short,
show examples
 in modern life, finding a stable
job
Use synonyms
 is nearly impossible. On the
another
Fix the agreement mistake
other
show examples
 hand,if
people
Use synonyms
 find a
job
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
which they
want
Punctuation problem
want,
show examples
that
Use the right word
they
show examples
those
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
might be happier than
unemployments
Check wording
the unemployed
show examples
.One of the main reasons
that
Verb problem
is that
show examples
 when individuals are doing their
work
Use synonyms
,they want to do
this
Linking Words
 themselves and
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
causes
Verb problem
helps
show examples
growing
Wrong verb form
grow
show examples
 the country.
To sum up
Linking Words
,it is important that working a
job
Use synonyms
 which
people
Use synonyms
 want to
living
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
 without any
stresses
Fix the agreement mistake
stress
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
,it is
recommend
Wrong verb form
recommended
show examples
 that if
people
Use synonyms
 can not find a
job
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
which they want
Punctuation problem
, that
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
Use synonyms
work
Verb problem
should work
show examples
short-term
Correct article usage
a short-term
show examples
job
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

planning
Plan your answer before you write. Put two ideas for each side and then share your own view.
grammar
Use simple sentences. Check the form of verbs and stay with one form.
coherence
Link ideas with easy words like first, also, but, so, and end with a clear conclusion.
content
The essay tries to show both sides of the issue.
structure
There is a short end that asks to sum up the view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: