IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

The obesity rate among teenagers has increased dramatically in many developed countries. discuss some possible reasons for this problem and suggest solutions.

In many
countries
Use synonyms
 has
increased
Verb problem
been
show examples
Correct article usage
an enormus
show examples
enormus
Correct your spelling
enormous
 obesity among teenagers
becouse
Correct your spelling
because
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
differents
Use the right word
different
show examples
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
on
Change preposition
around
show examples
 the
word
Use the right word
world
show examples
they
Punctuation problem
. They
show examples
are
Verb problem
do
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 not have a clear
politics
Use the right word
policy
show examples
 when
people
Use synonyms
used
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
zugar
Correct your spelling
sugar
o
Correct your spelling
or
another
Fix the agreement mistake
other
show examples
 products as sodas, candies or
anythink
Correct your spelling
anything
, for
Punctuation problem
. For
show examples
 that
reason
Punctuation problem
reason,
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 it is easy
Use synonyms
people
Change preposition
for people
show examples
 from
young
Correct article usage
a young
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edge
Check wording
age to
show examples
 have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
medical
problems
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
. However
show examples
Linking Words
however
Punctuation problem
however,
show examples
 in a few
Use synonyms
countries
Punctuation problem
countries,
show examples
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
 teenagers start
drink
Wrong verb form
drinking
show examples
 alcohol and smoking
for
Punctuation problem
. For
show examples
 that reason now it is
the
Correct word order
now the
show examples
 most difficult
stopet
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
situation
Use synonyms
 with.
on
Fix capitalization
On
show examples
 the
firts
Correct your spelling
first
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 it is
importan
Correct your spelling
important
Verb problem
to undesrtand
show examples
undesrtand
Correct your spelling
understand
when
Correct word choice
that when
show examples
yong
Correct your spelling
young
people
Use synonyms
 have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
healt
Correct your spelling
health
problems
Use synonyms
, it is
probable
Replace the word
probably
show examples
for
Change preposition
due to
show examples
 bad food or too
sweet
Correct word choice
much sugar
show examples
 in many
countries
Use synonyms
for
Punctuation problem
. For
show examples
 that reason
when
Punctuation problem
, when
show examples
see
Correct pronoun usage
I see
show examples
people
Use synonyms
Check wording
who are obese
show examples
obesity
Punctuation problem
obesity,
show examples
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 think in
this
Linking Words
 moment he have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
menthal
Correct your spelling
mental
problems
Use synonyms
o
Correct your spelling
or
other
Fix the agreement mistake
another
show examples
situation
Use synonyms
.
For
Linking Words
example
Punctuation problem
example,
show examples
 in
countries
Use synonyms
 from economy strong it is probable
more
Correct word choice
that more
show examples
teeneger
Correct your spelling
teenagers
 have obesity.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 it is
importan
Correct your spelling
important
Verb problem
to undertand
show examples
undertand
Correct your spelling
understand
as
Correct word choice
that as
show examples
 many
people
Use synonyms
 in other
countris
Correct your spelling
countries
 has been with
problems
Use synonyms
lookin
Correct your spelling
looking
food
Change preposition
for food
show examples
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 it
not
Verb problem
is not
show examples
 normal in my life
think
Punctuation problem
. Think
show examples
Change preposition
about when
show examples
when
Correct word choice
how
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 have
overwole
Correct your spelling
overcome
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 as anorexic in
this
Linking Words
word
Use the right word
world
show examples
 as desigual and
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
show examples
 sad. In
comclution
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, it is
importand
Correct your spelling
important
Verb problem
to understan
show examples
understan
Correct your spelling
understand
 what
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 problem
for
Verb problem
is for
show examples
 that, and help
yo
Use the right word
you
show examples
 if you can, but in the other
situation
Use synonyms
in
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
 my opinion needed more
people
Use synonyms
 help and
meeting
Wrong verb form
meet
show examples
becouse
Correct your spelling
because
 in
boutg
Check wording
the other
show examples
situation
Use synonyms
in
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
 more
dificult
Correct your spelling
difficult
thinking
Wrong verb form
to think
show examples
 better.

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planning
Make a clear plan before you write. Use 3 parts: start, middle, end.
structure
Stick to one idea per paragraph. If you add causes, add a simple solution after.
cohesion
Use linking words like first, next, but, also, so, finally to join ideas.
vocabulary
Use clear and easy words. Do not use many new or hard words.
content
Give one or two real and simple examples to show your point.
idea
The writer tries to cover both causes and solutions.
analysis
There is effort to discuss differences between countries.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • dramatically
  • prevalence
  • addictive
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • screen time
  • gadgets
  • exertion
  • awareness
  • balanced diet
  • incorporate
  • nutritional education
  • facilitating
  • impose
  • regulations
  • restricting
  • promote
What to do next:
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