IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that students who finished high school need to have a year of break or a holiday before continuing their study in a university.

Some individuals believe that young people should take
break
Correct article usage
a break
show examples
time
Check wording
apply
show examples
before entering higher education. I completely support the provided point of view since it allows
students
Use synonyms
 to decide which career path they want to follow before starting university. The first reason why I agree with the statement is that it provides
students
Use synonyms
 with time to rest and explore new experiences. During
this
Linking Words
 term,
students
Use synonyms
 can not only travel or spend time with their families and friends, but
also
Linking Words
 discover new opportunities or hobbies for self-development. Despite the fact that young people expend physical energy on
this
Linking Words
 activity, their minds relax, which allows them to grow.
For instance
Linking Words
, before starting university, my sister went on a trip to Spain and discovered a new hobby, swimming.
Moreover
Linking Words
, she became more confident in herself
due to
Linking Words
 losing weight and keeping herself fit. Another significant reason why I support
this
Linking Words
 idea is that a gap period helps
students
Use synonyms
 realise that they are already adults and they need to shoulder their responsibilities.
Although
Linking Words
 recent school graduates have been under the supervision of their parents during their school years, after graduating, they should take responsibility for their own lives. Since the decision of who they want to become has to be their own. To illustrate, when I was in the 11th grade, I already knew exactly which university I wanted to attend and which faculty to choose for my future career. In my opinion, I would say that being confident in the mentioned topic was caused by
behaviour
Correct article usage
the behaviour
show examples
 that my parents gave me.
Although
Linking Words
 I was young and had no life experience, my self-confidence helped me to make a decision that shaped my future. In conclusion, physical and psychological rest from studies and being full-time under stress could be reduced by a gap year.

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strength
Your view is clear and you take a strong stand. Keep this clear stance, but add a short plan at the start and a short wrap at the end to guide the reader.
development
Link ideas better. Use simple words like first, also, and finally to join your ideas. This will make the flow smooth.
development
Explain each point with one clear example. Do not mix ideas in the same paragraph; keep each reason and its example together.
content
The writer shows a clear view on taking a break before university.
structure
The essay uses real life examples from family to explain the point.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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