IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

More and more people no longer read newspaper and watch TV to get information. Instead they use Internet to get actual news. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give your own opinions or relevant examples.

Nowadays
Punctuation problem
Nowadays,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
received
Wrong verb form
receive
show examples
information
Use synonyms
 online
instead
Linking Words
 of traditional media. Some
people
Use synonyms
 consider
this
Linking Words
 trend negative
while
Linking Words
 others believe it
as
Use the right word
is
show examples
 positive. From my
perspective
Add a comma
perspective,
show examples
 it has more negative impacts than positive ones. On one hand,
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
show examples
 amount of fake and sensational
news
Use synonyms
 online
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 misleads
people
Use synonyms
 into believing false
information
Use synonyms
. These days, the media industry
use
Correct subject-verb agreement
uses
show examples
 sensational headlines to attract clicks, because they profit from the
click through
Use the right word
click-through
show examples
 rate;
thus
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 read
this
Linking Words
news
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, exaggerated
news
Use synonyms
 is fearmongering to the public.
For example
Linking Words
,
news
Use synonyms
 about
typhoon
Correct article usage
a typhoon
show examples
 leads
people
Use synonyms
 to stock up on daily necessities.
As a result
Linking Words
, the price increases in the market.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 need to spend time verifying
news
Use synonyms
, which brings more disadvantages than advantages.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, receiving
information
Use synonyms
 online is convenient than
traditional
Correct article usage
the traditional
show examples
 method. At present, everyone owns a mobile phone;
therefore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 can access
news
Use synonyms
 anytime and anywhere. Online
news
Use synonyms
 platforms provide real-time
information
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 traditional newspapers or TV broadcasts update less frequently.
Moreover
Linking Words
, these platforms have interactive features, allowing readers to comment or engage in discussions. The widespread availability of online
information
Use synonyms
 has
lead
Replace the word
led
show examples
 to previous miscarriages of justice being retried.
For instance
Linking Words
, Adnan's case, in the United States, was retried because of a podcast.
This
Linking Words
 demonstrates that digital media can uncover hidden evidence and
raising
Wrong verb form
raise
show examples
 public awareness.
Therefore
Linking Words
, unrestricted access to
information
Use synonyms
 on the internet can act as a safeguard against injustice. In conclusion, online
news
Use synonyms
 platforms have their advantages
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as convenience and transparency
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 there are more disadvantages
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as fake
news
Use synonyms
 and creating public panic.
Therefore
Linking Words
in
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
 my
opinion
Punctuation problem
opinion,
show examples
 it is more negative than positive.
People
Use synonyms
 who travel to another country to live, work or study for a period of time often suffer badly from homesickness. Why
Linking Words
this
Verb problem
does this
show examples
 problem
occurs
Correct subject-verb agreement
occur
show examples
? What are the best ways to reduce
this
Linking Words
 problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. One major reason is that the environment is totally different,
such
Linking Words
 as
weather
Correct article usage
the weather
show examples
, culture, or food.
People
Use synonyms
 living in a foreign country have to build a new comfort zone, including friends, places and memories;
thus
Linking Words
, they spend a huge amount of time and energy seeking new things.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 makes
people
Use synonyms
 feel exhausted.
For example
Linking Words
, studies show that foreign students are
morelikely
Correct your spelling
more likely
 to experience depression because they lack social support.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the main reason for homesickness is the lack of familiarity with the environment.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
State your view at the start and finish with a clear line.
coherence
Make one big idea in each paragraph and back it with facts.
coherence
Add small links to move ideas, like also, but, for example.
grammar
Fix small grammar errors, e.g. has lead -> has led, more convenient than.
structure
If you talk about two topics, make a clear split or keep to one.
content
The essay shows both good and bad sides.
example
Some real examples are used.
structure
The 'one hand' and 'other hand' idea helps link thoughts.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: