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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The bar chart below shows the number of students who studied five different subjects at a university in 2010. (Subjects: Math, Biology, History, Art, and Engineering)

The bar chart below shows the number of students who studied five different subjects at a university in 2010. (Subjects: Math, Biology, History, Art, and Engineering)
The bar chart shows the number of
students
Use synonyms
 enrolled at a university and their various subjects studied in 2010 and 2020.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 there was a significant increase in the number of
students
Use synonyms
 in all fields
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 Business having more learners and Arts having the least. In 2010,
Business
Correct article usage
the Business
show examples
 course had approximately 1200
students
Use synonyms
 who were into it. Engineering, Medicine and Art
students
Use synonyms
 were 700, 800, and 600
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
show examples
. Art had the least enrollment with 500 learners. In the next decade, all courses saw a rise in the number of their enrollments
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 business having just above 1500. The
others
Fix the agreement mistake
other
show examples
 fields increased
a
Change preposition
by a
show examples
quarter of their initial amounts.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • bar chart
  • numbers
  • more
  • most
  • less
  • least
  • higher
  • lower
  • increase
  • decrease
  • rise
  • fall
  • change
  • pattern
  • trend
  • overall
  • in 2010
  • the subject
  • students
  • study
  • subject
  • Math
  • Biology
  • History
  • Art
  • Engineering
  • few
  • many
  • large gap
  • small gap
  • comparison
  • pair
  • between
  • and
  • but
  • also
  • for example
  • first
  • second
  • third
  • difference
  • similar
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