IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts show the online sales for retail sectors in a South American country in 2009 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts show the online sales for retail sectors in a South American country in 2009 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The chart illustrates the online
sales
Use synonyms
 in a South American, for store sectors in four different things which is
,
Punctuation problem
:
show examples
 travel, clothes,
music
Use synonyms
/ film, and books. 2009 and 2019. Overview, travel was the highest
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2009, but it
fall
Wrong verb form
fell
show examples
 in the next ten years to be
second,
Linking Words
and in 2019
music
Use synonyms
 and films and had took the lead, with
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
show examples
 increase before it was the third in 2009.
While
Linking Words
 clothes had declined in ten years, and books
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
increase
Replace the word
increased
show examples
 in 2019.
Firstly
Linking Words
, travel was 38% in 2009, the greatest online
sales
Use synonyms
backthen
Correct your spelling
back then
, but it
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 in 2019 by 9% to be 29% second after
music
Use synonyms
 and film,
then
Linking Words
 clothes it was 26% the second profitable online retail
sales
Use synonyms
,
although
Linking Words
 it
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
 just 15% with
sharp
Correct article usage
a sharp
show examples
declined
Replace the word
decline
show examples
 to be the lowest point in 2019. After that
Use synonyms
music
Punctuation problem
, music
show examples
 and film
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 were it was 20% in 2009, before it became the highest
sales
Use synonyms
 in 2019 by 33%.
Linking Words
Finally
Punctuation problem
Finally,
show examples
 books, it was the lowest point in 2009,
then
Linking Words
 it had
Correct article usage
a raped
show examples
raped
Use the right word
rapid
show examples
rose
Replace the word
rise
show examples
 in 2019 to
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
23%
instead
Linking Words
 of 16%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, music with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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