IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is better for students to study frome home rather than go to school. Do you agree or disagree with this statement ?

Home
Use synonyms
-
Punctuation problem
apply
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schooling is a concept
that is
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 gaining
wide-spread
Use the right word
widespread
show examples
 popularity these days.
While
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 studying from
home
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 has its own benefits ,
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according to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 my
view
Punctuation problem
view,
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 it is important for children to go to school for learning.
This
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 essay will
further
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 discuss the reasons for
this
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 perspective.
Schools
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 can help improve a
child
Use synonyms
's social skills. Children meet peers of their age in
Use synonyms
schools
Punctuation problem
schools,
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wherein
Use the right word
where
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 they can communicate, exchange ideas on various topics
helping
Punctuation problem
, helping
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 them to improve their communication.
In addition
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 to that, the
students
Use synonyms
 admitted to
schools
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 often belong to different social backgrounds and
race
Fix the agreement mistake
races
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, which teaches an individual to be respectful to people of every class and ethnicity.
As a result
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 ,
students
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 become more compassionate towards others in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society.
On the other hand
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, if a
child
Use synonyms
 is
home
Use synonyms
-schooled , he/ she will not have any friends apart from
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 parents and teachers who teach them.
Consequently
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 , the
child
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 will not
able
Verb problem
be able
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effectively
Verb problem
to effectively
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 communicate with others.
Additionally
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 , growing up with fewer known faces and not being exposed to
wider
Correct article usage
a wider
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 community apart from his
home
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 , the
child
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 will not be able to understand or empathise with other sections of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Morevover
Correct your spelling
Moreover
,
schools
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 often provide the appropriate environment for learning. Children are always
thought
Verb problem
taught
show examples
 in a
class -room
Use the right word
classroom
show examples
 with their classmates, where they observe each other and often follow what is being advised .
This
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 helps them to focus more on studies and
abosorb
Correct your spelling
absorb
 more knowledge.
Conversely
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, when a
child
Use synonyms
 studies at
home
Use synonyms
 , the learning schedule is usually designed around his/her choices.
This
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 can make the
child
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 more
in-
Use the right word
in
show examples
 charge of his/ her learning , and
avoiding
Wrong verb form
avoid
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 study entirely. In conclusion ,
In
Fix capitalization
in
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 my
opninion
Correct your spelling
opinion
sending
Punctuation problem
, sending
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students
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 to school
for studying
Change preposition
to study
show examples
 is more advantageous than teaching them at
home
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 , as it
improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
show examples
Use synonyms
students
Check wording
students'
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 social abilities
as well as
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encourage
Correct subject-verb agreement
encourages
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 them to study more attentively in a suitable space with their fellow
mates
Check wording
students
show examples
.

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organization
Plan your writing. Say your view in the first line. Then give two main ideas in two parts. End with a short finish.
grammar
Fix grammar and make the text easy to read. Use one idea in one sentence. Use and, but, so to link ideas.
examples
Use real and simple examples. Say what you know or see about school and home learning.
presentation
Check words you spell wrong and put a space after comma and period.
content
Clear view is stated.
structure
Two parts show the idea.
content
Some good ideas on social life and learning.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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