IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors who came to Japan for different purposes between 1990 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors who came to Japan for different purposes between 1990 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line chart illustrates the number of overseas travellers to
Japan
Use synonyms
 for three purposes
:
Punctuation problem
:
show examples
 business, holiday, and
Use synonyms
visit
Wrong verb form
visiting
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 friends from 1990 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, business was the main reason for visitors in the period, but it and holiday
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
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were
Verb problem
apply
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both
fluctauted
Correct your spelling
fluctuated
.
Use synonyms
Visit
Wrong verb form
Visiting
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 friends was the most unimportant issue to
Japan
Use synonyms
 at the
inital
Correct your spelling
beginning
.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
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 it grew rapidly during the next two decades. In
1990
Punctuation problem
1990,
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 above 6
million
Use synonyms
 visitors came to
Japan
Use synonyms
 for business,
it
Correct word choice
and it
show examples
 boosted to around 9.5
million
Use synonyms
 by 2000.
While
Linking Words
 it dropped to almost 8
millon
Correct your spelling
million
 in 2005.
Then
Linking Words
 a modest increase to roughly 9
million
Use synonyms
 visitors in 2010. There were around 5.5
million
Use synonyms
 tourists
came
Correct pronoun usage
who came
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 to
Japan
Use synonyms
 for
holiday
Correct article usage
a holiday
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.
Although
Linking Words
 it had a slight decline to 4
million
Use synonyms
 between 1990 and 1995,
which
Correct pronoun usage
it
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met
Verb problem
reached
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 its lowest point. It had a significant growth over the next ten years, ending with 7
million
Use synonyms
.
By contrast
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
visit
Replace the word
visiting
show examples
 friends was the reason that
least
Correct word choice
the fewest
show examples
 people
visit
Use synonyms
Japan
Use synonyms
. But it grew steeply to 7
million
Use synonyms
 over the next 15 years, and had a slight decrease to above 6
million
Use synonyms
 in the end.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words japan, visit, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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