IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Advertisements are becoming more and more common in everyday life. Is it a positive or negative development?

In recent years,
advertisements
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 can be seen everywhere
from
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, from
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 TVs, streets, or even in
the
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apply
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buses. Some
people
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 believe that
advertisements
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 help individuals access
products
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 easily,
while
Linking Words
 others argue that
advertisements
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 distract
people
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 from their activities.
Advertisements
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 confer benefits
on not only
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not only on
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 customers
,
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apply
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 but
also
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the
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on the
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 whole community.
Firstly
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, it is undeniable that promotions give customers more choices of
products
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.
For example
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, through advertising, there are many skincare item brands that
available
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are available
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 for both sexes at various prices,
thus
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,
people
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 can pick the suitable one with ease.
Secondly
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, the increase
of
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in
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 the number of goods advertised leads to
higher
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a higher
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 number of
products
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 purchased, which
improve
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improves
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 the economy to be used in investing
other
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in other
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 fields.
For instance
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, Bulkat noodles
first
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were first
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 imported
in
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into
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 Vietnam in 2018. Through promoting
,
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apply
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this
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 product immediately attracted consumers, which made a massive revenue
up
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of up
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 to millions of dollars.
Vietnamese
Correct article usage
The Vietnamese
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 government
also
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 made a huge profit by imposing taxes
into
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on
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this
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 product, 35% of which
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then was
Correct word order
was then
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 used to raise funds and donated to charity
organizations
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organisations
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.
Besides
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 the advantages that
advertisements
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 have contributed to society, the appearance of excess and continuous commercial programs annoys
people
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 who do not have
demand
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a demand
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.
For example
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, an advertisement suddenly appearing during a video on
Youtube
Use the right word
YouTube
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 will spoil the viewer’s mood.
While
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 watching and understanding the story, an irrelevant commercial program
appear
Correct subject-verb agreement
appears
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totally
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to totally
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 disturb the plot,
make
Wrong verb form
making
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 viewers frustrated.
Furthermore
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, numerous number of
advertisements
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also
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 lead to the difficulty in verifying qualities.
Therefore
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, in fact, most of the
products
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 are not as good as themselves when promoting.
For example
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, a biscuit has been exaggerated through
advertisements
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 with AI regulations, which made it gorgeous, far from reality. Customers were confused and claimed that
this
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 product was a scam. Obviously,
this
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 item was banned forever. In conclusion,
although
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 the prevalence of
advertisements
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 might disturb
people
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 from their
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
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 and recreational activities, I believe that its profit
eclipsed
Replace the word
eclipses
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 all of the drawbacks.

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structure
Add a short opening paragraph that states your view and what you will discuss.
structure
Make one main idea in each paragraph and use clear links to the next part.
language
Use shorter, simple sentences and check grammar to avoid long or odd phrases.
content
Use more real, simple examples that match your claim and are easy to check.
content
The writer shows a clear view about ads.
content
Examples are used to back up some points.
structure
Some cause–effect notes help the reader see link between ideas.
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