IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Some children spend a long time each day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Some children spend a long time every day on their
smartphones
Use synonyms
. There are
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
that
Correct word choice
who
show examples
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
there's
Check wording
their
show examples
smartphones
Use synonyms
 for different reasons.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
show examples
 and negative development On the one
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
 a long time
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the smartphone is bad. Some parents
aare
Correct your spelling
are
 not
interesting
Correct word choice
interested
show examples
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their children
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
Correct your spelling
obviously
obviosly
Punctuation problem
obviosly,
show examples
 kids don'
t
Use synonyms
 know they need to study first and
progress
Verb problem
develop
show examples
 their
brain
Fix the agreement mistake
brains
show examples
. There are lots of games that kids can play every day and won'
t
Use synonyms
 get
Linking Words
third
Correct word choice
tired
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 They
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
show examples
 that if they
will
Verb problem
do
show examples
 not play
Linking Words
this kind
Fix the agreement mistake
these kinds
show examples
 of
games
Punctuation problem
games,
show examples
 they won'
t
Use synonyms
 be cool at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school or
somewhere
Replace the word
anywhere
show examples
. Parents should
Verb problem
be interest
show examples
interest
Replace the word
interested
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their child and make
shure
Correct your spelling
sure
 what
are they
Correct word order
they are
show examples
 doing
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Punctuation problem
hand,
show examples
 what
child
Wrong verb form
children are
show examples
 doing
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
Linking Words
 phone
maybe
Use the right word
may be
show examples
they
Correct word choice
that they
show examples
reading
Verb problem
are reading
show examples
 ,
prepare
Wrong verb form
preparing
show examples
 for the exam , there are some schools that prefer
smartphones
Use synonyms
 , gadgets more than physical books. Because of
that
Punctuation problem
that,
show examples
 do not judge
childrens befor
Correct your spelling
children before
 you don'
t
Use synonyms
 know what they're doing on the smartphone
To conclude
Linking Words
 ,
Do
Fix capitalization
do
show examples
 not judge
childs
Correct your spelling
children
 before not knowing what
are they
Correct word order
they are
show examples
 doing on their
smartphones
Use synonyms
. Parents should be more
caution
Replace the word
cautious
show examples
 before judging

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structure
State your view in the first paragraph and keep it in all the text.
content
Give a clear reason for each idea and simple, real examples.
coherence
Use link words to show order and tie ideas, like first, then, also, but, so.
structure
Make the intro and the end stronger and tied to the task.
accuracy
Check writing to be easy to read and not full of wrong spellings.
content
The essay tries to show both good and bad sides.
structure
There is a clear ending line to close the essay.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Convenience
  • Multifaceted
  • Parental control
  • Developmental activities
  • Peer pressure
  • Fear of missing out (FOMO)
  • Social skill impairments
  • Exposure
  • Inappropriate content
  • Enhance learning
  • Digital art
  • Programming
What to do next:
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