Many people have a variety of hobbies when they are young, but then stop when they become adults. Why do so many adults stop engaging in creative and artistic pursuits ?

People tend to have different types of
hobbies
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when they were young, but they give up on those as soon as they grow up as
adults
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. There are many reasons for
adults
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to stop pursuing their creativity.
This
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essay will discuss those reasons and give relevant explanations. First and foremost,
adults
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these days are very busy people. They are extremely committed to their career as the jobs are the one that pays the bills.
Although
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some
hobbies
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,
such
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as painting and music, can be a good source of income, succeeding in these areas can be challenging.
Furthermore
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, regular earnings can be almost impossible in
such
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a field of work.
Therefore
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,
adults
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choose not to pursue their
hobbies
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as a career. Another reason for millennials to stop engaging in creative and artistic pursuits is
because
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that
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they are engaged with family responsibilities. Many people today who have kids tend to get stuck in
daily
Correct article usage
the daily
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routines of taking care and providing for their family.
For example
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, sending kids to school and tutoring classes, preparing meals for them, and planning holiday trips during the school holidays.
Thus
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,
adults
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never get time to focus on their own lives
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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hence
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they neglect their
hobbies
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. In conclusion, commitment to career and family responsibilities
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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the main
reasons
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reason
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adults
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are unable to continue loving their
hobbies
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as they did when they were young.

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task response
Task: The essay asks why adults stop hobbies. It gives two good reasons, but add more detail and a closing line to show full answer.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence: The plan is clear, with intro, 2 body parts, and a conclusion. Some sentences are long; try to keep one idea per sentence and use simple linking words.
structure
There is a clear plan with an introduction and a conclusion.
content
Two main ideas are given and explained.
linking
Link words like First, Another, Thus are used.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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