IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people think young people should follow the traditions of their society. Others think that they should be free to behave as individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There is a debate over how
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
 live their life when they were young. Some argue that they ought to repeat the lifestyle of their parents, others argue that they can build their own life as they want.
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
show examples
 of adults want
grow
Verb problem
to raise
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 their children as well-behaved
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 they acquired from their grandparents or grandfathers. Because,
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
way
Add a comma
way,
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 they care about them as they think they know much more information than
youth
Correct article usage
the youth
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, if their child
want
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
show examples
 to live separately from their relatives that moment the grown-ups
were
Verb problem
apply
show examples
oppose
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 decision.
Therefore
Linking Words
, when they were at
this
Linking Words
age
Punctuation problem
age,
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 they stayed
together with
Linking Words
Correct article usage
the matures
show examples
matures
Replace the word
mature
show examples
.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 hand, each person has options that how to spend their time, health or
Fix the agreement mistake
childhood
show examples
childhoods
Punctuation problem
childhoods,
show examples
 as
Linking Words
this chance
Fix the agreement mistake
these chances
show examples
 were given just once for
every one
Use the right word
everyone
show examples
.
Due to
Linking Words
, they
Correct pronoun usage
this, they
show examples
 should
experienced
Wrong verb form
experience
show examples
 them
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different
sphere
Fix the agreement mistake
spheres
show examples
 as
this
Linking Words
 way they can find their personality
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 helps
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
 be happy.
For example
Linking Words
, changing their professions is considered
normally
Replace the word
normal
show examples
.
Thus
Linking Words
, they can choose anything regardless of age, time or their surroundings. In fact, adolescents can get
wisely
Replace the word
wise
show examples
 ideas or advice from
Correct article usage
the matures
show examples
matures
Replace the word
mature
show examples
.
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 without new practices they can’t develop their individuality as they should do what they
inspired
Verb problem
are inspired
show examples
.

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structure
Plan a clear intro and a strong end.
structure
Write about both views in two body parts and give your own view in the end.
grammar
Use short, simple sentences and correct grammar.
content
Give clear examples to back up each point.
coherence
Link ideas with simple words to make the text easy to follow.
content
Try to show both views.
content
There are some real examples used.
structure
The idea of old and new life is seen.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural heritage
  • Sense of identity
  • Cultural background
  • Community unity
  • Formative years
  • Significant meanings
  • Passed down
  • Creativity and innovation
  • New ideas and perspectives
  • Societal progress
  • Personal growth
  • Self-discovery
  • Outdated or irrelevant
  • Adhering to traditions
  • Meaningful and relevant
What to do next:
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