In money countries, people have health problems because they follow an unhealthy lifestyle. What do you think are the reasons for these problems? How can they be solved?

Nowadays, countries are facing serious health problems
due to
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poor
Correct article usage
a poor
show examples
lifestyle.
This
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essay examines the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
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this
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issue
Use synonyms
and suggests ways to tackle it. One main reason for
this
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issue
Use synonyms
is eating too much fast food, because they find it
more
Verb problem
is more
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convenient after a busy day.
For example
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, they enjoy eating junk meals from restaurants, which
contains
Correct subject-verb agreement
contain
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a lot of sugar and salt.
Therefore
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, the number of obesity and heart problems
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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increase
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increasing
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. Another cause is
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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of exercise. To illustrate, in the modern
worlds
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world
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, individuals are busy with their work and they do not have time for physical activities. We can do a lot to solve
this
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issue
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.
Firstly
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,
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
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diet
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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people to enjoy an active lifestyle.
For instance
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, eating fruits, vegetables, and
cook
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cooking
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meals
in
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at
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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home,
instead
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of restaurants
orders
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apply
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.
Secondly
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, exercise should be a part of daily life.
In other words
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,
walk
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walking
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or
go
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going
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to the gym after a busy day will reduce the rate of health problems.
Additionally
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,
government
Correct article usage
the government
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plays a vital role by
organize
Verb problem
organising
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programs and
encourage
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encouraging
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public
Correct article usage
the public
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to follow healthy habits and
teach
Wrong verb form
teaching
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them who is important in order to have
happy
Correct article usage
a happy
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life. In conclusion,
it is clear that
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health
challenge
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challenges
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has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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become a debate
issue
Use synonyms
in modern society.
However
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, if both individuals and
government
Correct article usage
the government
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take responsibility and work together by
raise a weariness
Replace the word
raising awareness
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and
plan
Replace the word
planning
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for regular exercise,
this
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problem can be effectively
reduce
Wrong verb form
reduced
show examples
in the future.

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grammar
Improve grammar and sentence form. Check plural verbs and word order in the sentences.
coherence
Make clear link between ideas. Use linking words like 'also', 'however', 'for example'.
coherence
Check the flow: add a short intro and a clear conclusion that restates the main idea.
task achievement
Give more precise examples for each point. For instance, show fruits or time for exercise.
style
Keep to simple words. Avoid long, hard sentence. Use present simple for general facts.
content
The essay has a clear plan with a view to reasons and fixes.
structure
Two main reasons and two main fixes are shown.
coherence
The idea is easy to see and the text follows a plan.

Your opinion

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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