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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The line graph illustrates the Dubai gold sales in 2002, showing monthly data points that reflect fluctuations in sales volume throughout the year.

The line graph illustrates the Dubai gold sales in 2002, showing monthly data points that reflect fluctuations in sales volume throughout the year.
The line chart illustrates the
volume
Use synonyms
 of
gold
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sales
Use synonyms
 in
Dubai
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 in different months of the
year
Use synonyms
 2002. The
volume
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 is measured in millions of Dirhams.
Overall
Linking Words
, the graph maintains an average
gold
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 sale of nearly 150 million
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 during each month throughout the
year
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. The highest
volume
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 was achieved in
March
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,
whereas
Linking Words
 July and September shared the least
sales
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. In the starting month of the
year
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 in
Dubai
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 , the
volume
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 of
gold
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sales
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 stood at 200, which slightly climbed in February to 225, and
then
Linking Words
market
Correct article usage
the market
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 rocketed up to 350 in
March
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. After a huge sale in
March
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 , the market saw a decline in
volume
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 in the upcoming months, as it went down to 250 in April, 200 in May,150 in June,
then
Linking Words
 to the lowest sale(130) of the
year
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 2002 in July.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the Arabic market rose in August to a starting monthly
volume
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 of 200, but again
gold
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sales
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 dropped back to the lowest(130).
Similarly
Linking Words
 , like previous trends,
gold
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sales
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 increased in
Dubai
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 yet again to approximately 190 in October and remained constant for the rest of the
year
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 in the remaining months(November and December). In short , the
Dubai
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gold
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volume
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 went up and down throughout the
year
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, recording the highest
sales
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 of 350 million dirhams in
March
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, and the lowest 150 million in July and September, in 2002.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words volume, gold, sales, dubai, year, march with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "went down" was used 2 times.
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