IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe the unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood of teaching sports to younger children). To what extend do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Several parties trust that voluntary social work must be made mandatory in high school programs. I will
below address
Correct word order
address below
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 both my agreements and disagreements towards
this
Linking Words
 opinion and the
program
Use synonyms
Linking Words
along
Punctuation problem
, along
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 with due reasoning to support it.
This
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program
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 will be able to improve the
students
Use synonyms
’ solidarity towards societies because they will collaborate with residents in the place where they will attend,
such
Linking Words
 as helping, teaching,
influencing
Correct word choice
and influencing
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 people there. Infinitely,
students
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 have to prepare themselves before they do
this
Linking Words
program
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 maturely.
This
Linking Words
program
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 will
also
Linking Words
 give benefits to
students
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which
Punctuation problem
, which
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they
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 can enhance their soft skills
from
Change preposition
through
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 interacting, communicating, delegating responsibilities, leading their friends in the group, and
organizing
Change the spelling
organising
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people. They will acquire many experiences from
this
Linking Words
program
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which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 will be useful for them in the future. Behind these benefits all, of course,
this
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program
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has
Correct word order
also has
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also
Linking Words
the
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 disadvantages
itself
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
program
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 will be unreliable if it is assigned to
12 grade
Correct your spelling
12th-grade
students
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 who will continue their studies
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the university. The
students
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 must prepare themselves to face many exams
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 will assess whether they deserve or not to continue their studies in the university they choose.
This
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program
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 will
also
Linking Words
 be unsuitable if it is assigned during the
students
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' holiday. It will interrupt the
students
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’ happiness because at
this
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time
Punctuation problem
time,
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students
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 will plan to have many enjoyable activities which can make them relax.
To conclude
Linking Words
, the volunteering
program
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 gives numerous benefits and
also
Linking Words
 drawbacks
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 I said in the paragraphs before. Given all that, in the final analysis,
this
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program
Use synonyms
 is highly recommended for high school programs as long as the circumstances are suitable.

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tip
Plan your essay with a simple outline before writing. A clear plan helps order ideas.
tip
Use simple linking words to connect ideas, such as 'also', 'but', 'however', 'first', 'then'.
instruction
State your view clearly in the introduction and repeat it in the conclusion.
tip
Give one or two clear examples from school life or real events to back your points.
note
Check word choice and grammar to avoid odd phrases, e.g., avoid 'Infinitely' and use 'Moreover' or 'Furthermore'.
strength
The essay shows a real idea of both sides.
strength
Introduction and conclusion are present.
strength
Mentions practical benefits like soft skills.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • compulsory
  • high school programmes
  • unpaid community service
  • charity
  • improving the neighbourhood
  • teaching sports
  • sense of responsibility
  • empathy
  • broader perspective
  • societal issues
  • college applications
  • job applications
  • positive impact
What to do next:
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