IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe the unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood of teaching sports to younger children). To what extend do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Several parties argue that voluntary social work must be made mandatory for high school
students
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. I will address below both my agreement and disagreement towards the opinion and
program
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along
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, along
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 with due reasoning to support it. To start,
this
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 activity will be able to improve the
students
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’ sense of social solidarity towards
the
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apply
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society because they will contribute what they have and can do to the immediate environment; they will help and assist the
people
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 who live there.
For example
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, they can raise funds to help
the
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apply
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needy
people
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 or victims of natural disasters.
This
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 is believed to be able to nurture the
students
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’ nature and social care
to
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for
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 the community.
Next,
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this
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 undertaking will
also
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 offer benefits to the teenagers themselves in that it can enhance their soft skills in terms of interacting, communicating, delegating responsibilities, leading their friends in the group, and
organizing
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organising
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the
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apply
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people
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.
For instance
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, they will hold meetings inviting
people
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 in the community to get to know their agenda; they will explain their programs and persuade the
people
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 to participate in their efforts.
This
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is
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has
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potential
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the potential
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 to develop their abilities in the said aspects that they will bring to their future life. Aside from these advantages,
this
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 project may
also
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 render disadvantages.
This
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program
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 will be unreliable if it is assigned to
12th grade
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12th-grade
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students
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 who will face many exams or tests
including
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, including
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 the university entrance test. The
students
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 must prepare themselves to take these examinations
and
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, and
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 they should not be bothered by activities not related to
this
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.
This
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program
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 will
also
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 be unsuitable if it is
obligated
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held
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 during the
students
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' holiday; it will interrupt the
students
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’ happiness.
To conclude
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, the volunteering
program
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 gives more
numerous
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apply
show examples
good points than drawbacks as have been elaborated in the previous sections. Given all that, in the final analysis,
this
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 activity is highly recommended for high school
students
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.

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task response
State your view at the start and keep it clear. This helps show you answer the question well.
examples
Share more specific examples tied to school life or local events to back your points.
coherence
Link ideas with clear and smooth transitions between paragraphs.
grammar
Fix long and hard sentences. Use short ones to keep easy to read.
content
The essay shows balance by touching both sides of the issue.
organization
There is a clear outline with start, middle and end.
language features
Idea steps are easy to follow.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • compulsory
  • high school programmes
  • unpaid community service
  • charity
  • improving the neighbourhood
  • teaching sports
  • sense of responsibility
  • empathy
  • broader perspective
  • societal issues
  • college applications
  • job applications
  • positive impact
What to do next:
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