IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph gives information about coffee production in 4 different countries from 1990 to 2010.

The graph gives information about coffee production in 4 different countries from 1990 to 2010.
The figure compares data about coffee
producing
Replace the word
production
show examples
 in 4 countries
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
:
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 Brazil,
Columbia
Use the right word
Colombia
show examples
,
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 ,
Vietnam
Correct word choice
and Vietnam
show examples
Punctuation problem
, among
show examples
among
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1990-2010 years
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that Brazil remained
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
dominant
Correct article usage
a dominant
show examples
 position throughout
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the period ,
whereas
Linking Words
Columbia
Use the right word
Colombia
show examples
 consistently decreased ,
while
Linking Words
 both countries Vietnam and
Indonesia
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 showed
continuous
Correct article usage
a continuous
show examples
 rise. In 1990
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
Brasilia produced around 0,7
million
Use synonyms
tons
Use synonyms
 of coffee ,making it
largest
Correct article usage
the largest
show examples
 producer among
four
Correct article usage
the four
show examples
 nations .
This
Linking Words
 figure rose steadily to 1million
tons
Use synonyms
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
 1995 and reached approximately 1.5
million
Use synonyms
 by 2000. By the end of
period
Correct article usage
the period
show examples
Brazils
Check wording
Brazil's
show examples
 production peaked
nearly
Change preposition
at nearly
show examples
 1,9
million
Use synonyms
 . Representing almost
threefold
Correct article usage
a threefold
show examples
 increase from
initial
Correct article usage
the initial
show examples
 level.
Indonesia
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 grew gradually , doubling
it is
Check wording
its
show examples
 output to around 0,4
million
Use synonyms
tons
Use synonyms
 in 2010. In terms of Vietnam,
this
Linking Words
 country showed
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
Linking Words
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 well as
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 rose from 0,1
million
Use synonyms
tons
Use synonyms
 to almost 0,3
million
Use synonyms
 by 2010
In
Linking Words
contrast
Add a comma
contrast,
show examples
 Colombia performed
consistent
Correct article usage
a consistent
show examples
 decrease. It is production started at 0,6
million
Use synonyms
tons
Use synonyms
 , and reached
low
Correct article usage
a low
show examples
 point among other countries with 0,3
million
Use synonyms
tons
Use synonyms
 in 2010

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words indonesia, million, tons with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: