IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

some people believe that studying at university or college is best route to a successful career, while others believe that is it better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views.

Right after finishing
hight
Use the right word
high
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school
Use synonyms
, teenagers
are
Verb problem
apply
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often wonder whether they ought to continue their education or get a
job
Use synonyms
.
Whle
Correct your spelling
While
 many
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
keeping
Verb problem
continuing
show examples
on studying
Change preposition
to study
show examples
 at a college or university will be the best way to guarantee a successful career, others claim that
woking
Use the right word
working
show examples
 straight after
school
Use synonyms
 is a better option.
Strat
Use the right word
Strategic
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 working after graduation is beneficial for several reasons.
Firstly
Linking Words
, by working, young
people
Use synonyms
 will be able to start earning money as soon as possible.
As a result
Linking Words
, they will be mature enough
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and be able to live independently on their own income.
Secondly
Linking Words
, a person who decides to look for a
job
Use synonyms
 rather than
pursuing
Wrong verb form
pursue
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 higher education is likely to have a chance to obtain a lot of experience and practical skills.
This
Linking Words
 may lead them to progress more quickly in their chosen profession.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that it is more beneficial for young
people
Use synonyms
 to continue their studies after high
school
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, a college education prepares students to meet academic qualifications, which most employers require nowadays.
Consequently
Linking Words
, university graduates usually have opportunities to earn higher salaries than those without qualifications.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
job
Use synonyms
 market is becoming increasingly competitive since hundreds of
applicats
Correct your spelling
applicants
 often chase one position in an
organization
Change the spelling
organisation
show examples
. Having a degree is an obvious advantage that university graduates have. In many countries, students who graduate with an engineering degree are highly paid and have an easy time getting a good
job
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, it is true to say that both working straight after high
school
Use synonyms
 and continuing higher studies each has
their
Fix the agreement mistake
its
show examples
 own unique advantages.

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task
Use one clear stance in the end and tie it to the intro idea.
structure
Start each paragraph with a clear main idea in a simple sentence.
content
Add more detail or examples to back each point.
grammar
Fix small spelling and grammar mistakes to help reading.
content
The essay shows both sides and ends with a simple conclusion.
coherence
There are linking words like Firstly and On the other hand.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Academic qualifications
  • Specialized skills
  • In-depth knowledge
  • Personal growth
  • Social development
  • Practical experience
  • Financial independence
  • Career progression
  • Professional networking
  • Education
  • Work experience
  • Successful career
  • Personal interests
  • Career goals
  • Decision-making process
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