IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say that using animals to test new products for human consumption should be banned in all countries. To what extent do you agree? Give clear arguments and examples to state your stance.

There is a group of individuals who
claims
Correct subject-verb agreement
claim
show examples
 that testing the latest products on
animals
Use synonyms
 for humans to use should be illegal in all nations. I strongly believe that the process itself is unethical, there are other
ways
Use synonyms
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
to do that, and it should be illegal
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
everywhere.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
animals
Use synonyms
mostly
Verb problem
are mostly
show examples
 used in
beauty
Correct article usage
the beauty
show examples
 sector to test the newest cosmetics to understand if the products have negative results on
body
Correct article usage
the body
show examples
 or not. In most labs, these little creatures
got
Verb problem
are
show examples
 injected
high
Change preposition
with high
show examples
 amounts of chemicals used in the products that are harmful. It makes them blind and unable
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
to use their body. I think it is cruel
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and
unhuman
Use the right word
inhumane
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, in 2022, the
animation
Replace the word
animated
show examples
 movie came out about a rabbit named Ralph, and it showed
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
show examples
 process and how it affects them. After that
individuals
Punctuation problem
, individuals
show examples
 started to protest the brands
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 tested on
animals
Use synonyms
 and refused to use them until they stopped
this
Linking Words
 action.
Secondly
Linking Words
, in
this
Linking Words
 period
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 the enhancement of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology and science, there could be various
ways
Use synonyms
 to evaluate the substance.
Analyzing
Change the spelling
Analysing
show examples
 by using
animals
Use synonyms
 is
cheaper
Correct article usage
a cheaper
show examples
 alternative, and mostly companies do not want to increase
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
other expenses. If governments banned all the experiments used on
animals
Use synonyms
, there would be no
chance
Use the right word
choice
show examples
 but to create new solutions.
For example
Linking Words
, in Norway, authorities started
inspection
Fix the agreement mistake
inspections
show examples
 and charged every
businesses
Fix the agreement mistake
business
show examples
 that operated on
animals
Use synonyms
.
After
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, most places looked for other
ways
Use synonyms
 and innovated the
unharmful
Use the right word
non-harmful
show examples
 chemicals. In conclusion, I agree that nations should put charges on businesses that
doing
Verb problem
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
animals harm
Correct word order
harm animals
show examples
 and
make
Verb problem
require
show examples
 the industries to search for other
ways
Use synonyms
.

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structure
Make a clear intro that states your position and what you will discuss.
language
Use simple linking words to show order: first, also, but, however.
content
Give clear examples that fit the point and check facts.
language
Fix grammar and use short, clear sentences.
content
Clear stance is shown.
content
Some ideas are relevant to the topic.
structure
Conclusion is included.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ban
  • animal
  • testing
  • food
  • safety
  • health
  • cruelty
  • rights
  • ethics
  • lab
  • cells
  • computer model
  • data
  • volunteers
  • rules
  • global
  • country
  • cost
  • time
  • trust
  • progress
  • cosmetics
  • proof
  • alternative
  • other ways
  • test in a dish
  • taste tests
What to do next:
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