IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

consuming large amount of sugar is bad for the health. it is believed by some pupil that it is duty of government to reduce the productivity as well as consumption of sugary products but, others think that it is the responsibility of people to reduce the intake of junk food. In my forthcoming paragraphs, I am going to discuss both view and my feelings.

A group of people believe that the authorities should make some rules for people to overcome the consumption of sugars by
decresing
Correct your spelling
decreasing
 the productivity of
sugery
Correct your spelling
sugary
 items,
whereas
Linking Words
 others think that it should be individual
responsibity
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 to reduce the intake of junk food. I will discuss both views before reaching
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
on
Use the right word
an
show examples
my
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
opinion. On the one hand, people who think that the involvement of government should be
mondatary
Correct your spelling
mandatory
 to
decline
Verb problem
reduce
show examples
 the consumption of sugar is that

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Language accuracy
There are many spelling and grammar errors. Use simple sentence forms and check your work.
Structure
Add a clear start and end. State your view at the end.
Coherence
Use simple linking words to join ideas, like first, next, but, also, in addition.
Content
Give some real ideas or example to back your point.
Idea
You chose a topic that can have two sides and you discuss both.
Approach
You show you want to give your own view.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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