IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

nowadeys many people complain that they have dificulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause. what can be done about lack of sleep.

THERE IS NO DENYING THE FACT THAT
,
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 GETTING SUFFICIENT SLEEP IS PRIMARY FOR A HEALTHY LIFE.
THIS
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 ESSAY WILL DISCUSS THE FACTORS BEHIND THE LACK OF SLEEP.
MOREOVER
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, THE SOLUTIONS THAT LEAD US TO SLEEP WELL.
TO BEGIN
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 WITH, THE CAUSES OF THE LACK OF SLEEP,
SUCH
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 AS DRINKING MUCH COFFEE, IS THE SIGNIFICANT REASON THAT MOST PEOPLE KNOW IT , BUT THEY CANNOT DO ANYTHING FOR IT, BECAUSE THEY ARE ADDICTED TO COFFEE.
FOR EXAMPLE
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,
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, I CAN NOT SLEEP AT NIGHT EVEN IF I FEEL SLEEPY
DUE TO
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 THE BIG AMOUNT OF COFFEE AND TEA THAT I DRINK THROUGHOUT MY DAY.
IN ADDITION
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,
NO EXISTENCE OF
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there is no
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A STRICT
Correct determiner usage
strict
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 SCHEDULE OF
SLEEP
Correct article usage
a SLEEP
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 PLAN THAT THE MAJORITY OF
THE PEOPLE
Correct determiner usage
people
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 HAVE.
FOR INSTANCE
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,IF I DO NOT HAVE A SPECIFIC TIME FOR GOING TO BED, IT WOULD BE DIFFICULT FOR ME TO SLEEP. IN TERMS OF THE OUTCOMES, WHICH ARE THE OPPOSITE OF THE FACTORS, LIMITING THE AMOUNT OF CUPS
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YOU USED TO HAVE IS THE FIRST STEP TOWARD THE ALTERNATIVE.
FOR EXAMPLE
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, DECREASING YOUR CUP SIZE BIT BY BIT CAN BENEFIT YOUR HEALTH
AS WELL AS
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SLEEP
Correct pronoun usage
your sleep
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. ANOTHER ADDRESS TO CONSIDER IS
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 GETTING AN EXTREME PLAN OR ROUTINE FOR YOUR SLEEP IS THE BEST WAY TO
RID
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GET RID
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 OF LACK OF SLEEP. LIKE, MY FATHER HE HAS NEVER SLEPT LATE SO, HE HAS THE EXACT SLEEP
ROUTINE
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ROUTINE.
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ALTHOUGH
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 HE SLEPT LATE, HE IS ATTEMPTING TO WAKE UP EARLY AS USUAL. TO NOTSHEEL, GETTING ENOUGH SPEEL REST OR SLEEP IS CRUCIAL FOR CONCENTRATING AND BEING READING FOR THE WHOLE DAY. SO WE SHOULD
KEEN
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BE KEEN
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 TO REST WELL AND AVOID BEING LATE.

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Task response
Task response: The essay talks about sleep, but it does not give a clear plan. Add a clear intro with your main idea, a body that covers causes and fixes, and a short conclusion that restates the main point. Include a clear view on the task.
Coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Break the text into 3 parts: intro, body on causes, body on fixes, and a short end. Use one idea per paragraph and lead from one idea to the next with simple links: first, next, also, but, so.
content
The essay shows there is a topic and some ideas about sleep.
structure
There are some real life examples (coffee, schedule) to support ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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