IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many things that used to be done in the home by hand are now being done by machines. Does this development bring more advantages or disadvantages?

Due to
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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technological
development
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 are now equipped with modern appliances. It is often asserted that many household chores that used to be done by hand are now performed by machines.
While
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this
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 new
development
Use synonyms
 brings several benefits,
such
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 as greater convenience and
saves
Wrong verb form
saving
show examples
 time, it
also
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 poses a few drawbacks that cannot be overlooked. One compelling reason to support
this
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development
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 is
it
Correct word choice
that it
show examples
 improves the
overall
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 standard of living. In the past,
due to
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 the lack of advanced appliances,
people
Use synonyms
 often found it hard to find time for
liesure
Correct your spelling
leisure
 activities because of
unfinsihed
Correct your spelling
unfinished
house works
Use the right word
housework
show examples
. To exemplify,
individuals
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 often used to work on weekdays and spend their weekends
to complete
Wrong verb form
completing
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 domestic tasks, which
made
Wrong verb form
makes
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 them feel overwhelmed.
However
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, with the introduction of
advance
Replace the word
advanced
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 machinery,
such
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 tasks can be completed efficiently, allowing
people
Use synonyms
 to spend free time with their loved ones.
Hence
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,
this
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 not only strengthens family bonds but
also
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 enhances
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
 of life.
On the other hand
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,
although
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 technological advancements have made life
more
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
easier, they
also
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 have a few disadvantages that can affect
individuals
Use synonyms
' health. Previously, manual household tasks often required consistent physical movement, which helped
individuals
Use synonyms
 stay active and strong. Now,
however
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,
people
Use synonyms
 heavily rely on modern equipment, leading to a
sendentary
Correct your spelling
sedentary
 lifestyle.
As a result
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,
people
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 become obese and physically weak, which
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
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 both their
physicall
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physical
 and mental well-being.
Consequently
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, excessive dependence on
dveloped
Correct your spelling
developed
appliance
Fix the agreement mistake
appliances
show examples
can have a few adverse
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
. In conclusion, despite the fact that over-reliance on modern machines makes
individuals
Use synonyms
' health vulnerable, an intelligent use of
these
Fix the agreement mistake
this
show examples
 latest equipment has enormous benefits that can enhance
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
 of life.
Therefore
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,
this
Linking Words
development
Use synonyms
 brings more advantages, though it has a few
disadvantges
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
.

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structure
Plan your answer with a clear start, middle, and end. Use a short intro that states your view, 2 body parts, and a short conclusion.
coherence
Make one idea per paragraph. Use simple words to show how ideas link, like 'and', 'but', 'however'.
language
Fix common errors in spelling and grammar. Short sentences help to be clear.
content
Give clear examples that fit the point. Do not repeat ideas.
content
The essay shows a fair try to discuss both sides.
content
Some good ideas are about time and life quality.
content
There are a few examples to back up points.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • automation
  • convenience
  • efficiency
  • precision
  • repetitive
  • tedious
  • job displacement
  • job opportunities
  • skilled labor
  • unskilled labor
  • manual tasks
  • technological advancements
  • impact
  • productivity
  • workforce
  • workplace
  • equality
  • dependence
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