IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Do you support that the nuclear technology should be used for constructive purposes? Use your own knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Give reasons for your viewpoint

With the increasing
demands
Fix the agreement mistake
demand
show examples
 for clearer
energy
Use synonyms
, whether nuclear technology should be used for constructive purposes has become a topic of widespread debate. There are counter-arguments on both sides of
this
Linking Words
 issue, which I will be discussing
further
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. On the one hand, supporters of nuclear
energy
Use synonyms
 argue that it can bring lots of benefits to humans. They claim that it is a better alternative to
energy
Use synonyms
 that comes from fossil fuels ,like coal and gas. They emphasise that nuclear
energy
Use synonyms
power
Use synonyms
 plants produce relatively fewer amounts of carbon emissions than other
power
Use synonyms
 plants,
Linking Words
thus
Correct word choice
and thus
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 are less polluting than fossil fuels.
Additionally
Linking Words
, it is often said that nuclear
energy
Use synonyms
 is more reliable and less expensive.
Due to
Linking Words
 the economic advantages it has
countries
Punctuation problem
, countries
show examples
,
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apply
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such
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 as China and
US
Correct article usage
the US
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,
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apply
show examples
 continue to use it
,
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apply
show examples
 to expand their
energy
Use synonyms
 resources.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, opponents highlight
the
Correct word choice
that the
show examples
 real cost of nuclear
energy
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 is much higher once people's lives are
getting
Verb problem
apply
show examples
involved, and I tend to agree with
this
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. A clear example of
this
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 is Japan's nuclear disaster in 2011, which was triggered by a massive
earthuqake
Correct your spelling
earthquake
 and tsunami.
This
Linking Words
 was one of the most horrific incidents in the
last
Linking Words
 century that was beyond the reach of the Japanese government. It devastated the environment and caused the loss of significant numbers of homes and lives. In conclusion, life and the
environement
Correct your spelling
environment
 are invaluable, and should not be put at risk to make nuclear
power
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. I firmly believe that if governments started to take proactive actions in researching and developing renewable
energy
Use synonyms
, it
is
Wrong verb form
would be
show examples
 possible to replace nuclear
power
Use synonyms
 with other safer solutions in the near future.

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content
Add more proof to your points and explain the two sides with more detail.
structure
Use more linking words to connect ideas so the text flows better.
grammar
Check spelling and grammar, e.g. fix 'earthquake' and comas, and make noun and verb forms match.
content
Make your clear view known in the end and restate it with stronger words.
structure
Clear plan with intro, body, and conclusion.
content
It states a view and adds an example to back it up.
style
Uses simple words that are easy to read.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • energy
  • power
  • safe
  • risk
  • control
  • rule
  • policy
  • country
  • people
  • future
  • waste
  • store
  • reactor
  • fuel
  • medicine
  • image
  • scan
  • cancer
  • treat
  • fact
  • example
  • data
  • idea
  • point
  • benefit
  • harm
  • climate
  • change
  • cost
  • job
  • money
  • plan
  • study
  • science
  • proof
  • trust
  • world
  • safety
  • danger
  • environment
  • cooperation
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