IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some People think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate school. Others, however , believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

Number
Correct article usage
A number
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
schools
Use synonyms
 should be based on the gender of young
people
Use synonyms
. Others argue that
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 them together can be better. In my opinion, mixed
schools
Use synonyms
 have more advantages than single-sex
schools
Use synonyms
,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 can help in developing the understanding between
genders
Use synonyms
, which
contripute
Correct your spelling
contributes
 to
grow
Wrong verb form
growing
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 their brain and
openence
Correct your spelling
openness
.
Initially
Linking Words
, one major benefit of boys and girls attending the same school is
give
Verb problem
to give
show examples
 them an
opportunitey
Correct your spelling
opportunity
 to discover the differences between
genders
Use synonyms
. If they have
this
Linking Words
experince
Correct your spelling
experience
 early in the childhood period,
this
Linking Words
 will make them embrace other
idea
Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
show examples
 more.
For example
Linking Words
, when kids
playing
Wrong verb form
play
show examples
 and
studying
Wrong verb form
study
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 together and do
same
Correct article usage
the same
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activites
Correct your spelling
activities
,
this
Linking Words
 will help them to understand and learn from each other,
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 leads them to grow up in
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
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 environment.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 have
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
to deal
Wrong verb form
dealing
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 with women during work,
this
Linking Words
 often
happen
Correct subject-verb agreement
happens
show examples
 because of the lack of communication between
genders
Use synonyms
 in childhood, which can be avoided by mixed
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in some
cases
Add a comma
cases,
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 the single-gender
schools
Use synonyms
 would be the best choice,
such
Linking Words
 as in most
of
Change preposition
apply
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muslim areas.
For instance
Linking Words
, the women in these places have to wear the hijab or a scarf if they meet men who are not
form
Use the right word
from
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the
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 relatives, the
seprated
Correct your spelling
separate
schools
Use synonyms
 can be a reasonable
soultion
Correct your spelling
solution
 to give the
female its
Fix the agreement mistake
females their
show examples
 freedom in dressing
whether
Punctuation problem
, whether
show examples
were
Verb problem
they are
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student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 or teachers. In conclusion, it is a viable option to have
mixed
Wrong verb form
a mix
show examples
 of
seprated
Correct your spelling
separate
schools
Use synonyms
 and
moxied
Correct your spelling
mixed
schools
Use synonyms
, and give the family the freedom to
chosse
Correct your spelling
choose
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
 choice
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 them.
However
Linking Words
, when
people
Use synonyms
going
Wrong verb form
go
show examples
 to
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
Use synonyms
schools
Punctuation problem
schools,
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 it is
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 them to build
awarenees
Correct your spelling
awareness
 about
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
Use synonyms
genders
Fix the agreement mistake
gender
show examples
 .
In addition
Linking Words
, in
Correct article usage
a particuler
show examples
particuler
Correct your spelling
particular
 case the attending
different
Correct article usage
a different
show examples
shcool
Correct your spelling
school
 might be suitable for women and their families. I believe
this
Linking Words
 is a family affair
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 they ought to
opt
Verb problem
make
show examples
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
 choice
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
 and their children depend on their own
believes
Replace the word
beliefs
show examples
.

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structure
Plan your essay before you write. Make a short plan with two views and your own view. Then write in order: intro, view 1, view 2, conclusion.
coherence
Use clear links to compare and join ideas. Use simple words like also, but, however, for example.
content
Keep one main idea in each paragraph. Do not jump between ideas. Use short, simple sentences.
grammar
Check spelling and grammar. Fix common misspells and make verb form right.
stance
The writer gives a clear personal view.
content
The writer tries to discuss both sides of the topic.
content
Some examples are used to show points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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