IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1.5

The pie chard showes age of visitors from the UK to Spain in 1983 and 2003.

The pie chart shows 5 types of age in terms of visitors from the UK to Spain in 1983 and 2003.
Overall
Linking Words
, the group
tourist's
Check wording
tourists'
show examples
 age experienced different trends in the time period.
While
Linking Words
 the percentage of old
people
Use synonyms
 visiting fell
down
Rephrase
apply
show examples
, young
peoples
Check wording
people's
show examples
proposition
Use the right word
proportion
show examples
 rose. The graph shows that
people
Use synonyms
 around 35-54
years
Use synonyms
 started to visit from 50 % in 1983, and it declined to 35 % in 2003. Middle-aged individuals
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 from 20% to 12 % between 1983 and 2003. The percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 aged 55+
years
Use synonyms
 grew the one in ten from 1983 to 2003. The lowest change showed the age
around
Check wording
group around
show examples
 0-15
years
Use synonyms
individuals
Check wording
apply
show examples
, which increased 2% from 1983 to 2003 . The highest figure indicated youngsters between 16 and 24
years
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 constituted 11% .

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structure
Use one clear idea per part. Start with a short intro, then a clear overview, then body ideas, then a short end.
data
Check the data well. Do not mix up groups or years. If the chart has five age groups, write about each one or say you cannot use all data.
vocabulary
Use simple and exact words. Use 'part' or 'share' for a part of people, and 'percent' when you must.
grammar
Keep grammar simple. Use past form like 'was' and 'were'. Avoid words like 'proposition'; use 'increase' or 'rise' for more clear meaning.
coherence
Link ideas with plain words such as 'and', 'but', 'however', 'then', 'so' to show how things change.
content
An effort to show the main idea of change.
structure
The writer compares two years in a short text.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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