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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think studying in groups is better, while some think self study is better for school students. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

In recent years, a significant debate has emerged over whether self-paced study or collective learning is the most effective method to reach academic achievements. Advocates of the first view argue that independent learning plays a crucial role in fostering self-discipline and problem-solving skills,
while
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 opponents claim that collaborative learning promotes increased motivation and essential communication skills.
This
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 essay will discuss both perspectives and present my personal viewpoint. On the one hand, self-paced study allows individuals to tailor their learning process
according to
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 their personal strengths and weaknesses. Learners can manage their time effectively, focusing on topics that require more attention without being constrained by a group’s
overall
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 pace.
For instance
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, students who take the national exam in Kazakhstan frequently take individual lessons to enhance their
overall
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 Math score.
This
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 approach helps students cultivate self-discipline, leading to increased efficiency and confidence. Another benefit is problem-solving skills. Since learners rely on themselves, they have to seek solutions and make decisions without any guidance.

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task
Finish with a clear end that restates your view.
coherence
Link ideas with small words like also, but, and then to make flow better.
grammar
Fix small grammer errors and tune down long lines for easy reading.
structure
The opening gives the plan of the essay.
coherence
It uses 'On the one hand' to show shift of view.
examples
There is a specific example about Kazakhstan.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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