IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on endangered list what are the reasons for this? what can be done to solve this problem?

It can be seen that many animal
species
Use synonyms
 are reaching on edge of
extinction
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 can be caused by of destruction of their natural habitat and overhunting. The solutions are banning deforestation and imposing strict laws against hunting. The main reason behind the
extinction
Use synonyms
 of some important
species
Use synonyms
 is the loss of their natural shelter.
This
Linking Words
 means that humans are continuously cutting down the trees for their personal use , like to make highways and roads in the forest areas.
For example
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
 the development of roads, many serious accidents
are noticed
Wrong verb form
have been reported
show examples
 in Australia.
Moreover
Linking Words
, hunting is
also
Linking Words
 considered a significant factor in
this
Linking Words
 issue. As the hunting is going out of limits because it becomes a highly profitable business to kill the unique animals
ans
Correct your spelling
and
sale
Replace the word
sell
show examples
 their valuable parts. In Africa, a vast
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of elephants are killed for their barks.
Thus
Linking Words
, humans are mostly responsible for the
extinction
Use synonyms
 of crucial animal
species
Use synonyms
. The solution which can be taken to prohibit the inappropriate behaviour of humans is
implementation
Correct article usage
the implementation
show examples
 of strict rules and regulations against hunting and deforestation. The government of every nation should introduce new laws on avoiding the construction of highways in forest areas , and prison sentences should be imposed
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 killing animals that are on
endangered
Correct article usage
the endangered
show examples
 list.
For example
Linking Words
, Australia is the only country which become capable of retaining the country of kangaroos
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 are on
extinction
Use synonyms
, it is only possible
due to
Linking Words
 strict rules and regulations.
Hence
Linking Words
, if higher authorities get involved, we will be able to save wildlife.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 by overhunting and deforestation we are losing some important
species
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, we can solve
this
Linking Words
 by
involvement
Correct article usage
the involvement
show examples
 of lawmakers.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task
Explain both causes and solutions in more detail and give clear, specific examples. Avoid broad statements.
coherence
Use a clear topic sentence in each paragraph and link ideas with simple words like also, but, so.
grammar
Check grammar and spelling there are mistakes like 'on edge of extinction', 'barks' for elephants. Correct these.
lexical
Use simple, exact words from the common pool; do not use long phrases that are hard to read.
structure
Structure the essay with a short intro, 2-3 body paragraphs, and a clear conclusion. State your view in the intro.
idea
The essay shows care to talk about causes and ways to fix the problem.
structure
There is a clear end that tries to sum up the point.
content
Some simple examples are used to support ideas.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: