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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The pie chart demonstrated
reasons
Correct article usage
the reasons
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 global
land
Use synonyms
 degradation and the table illustrated the causes of
lan
Correct your spelling
land
 degradation in three regions in
1990s
Correct article usage
the 1990s
show examples
. It is obvious that the main causes of
land
Use synonyms
degradtion
Correct your spelling
degradation
 were over-grazing, over-cultivation and deforestation, where
Europe
Use synonyms
 had the
higest
Correct your spelling
highest
 degraded
land
Use synonyms
 among
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 two regions. In the pie graph, Over-grazing caused 35% of
land
Use synonyms
 to be
degenerated
Verb problem
degraded
show examples
 internationally, followed by deforestation
30
Punctuation problem
, 30
show examples
% and over-cultivation
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 was 28%. Other reasons
only
Rephrase
apply
show examples
resulted seven
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of damage. In the table, deforestation (9.8% )
wasthe
Correct your spelling
was the
 key reason why
land
Use synonyms
 degraded in
Europe
Use synonyms
,
also
Linking Words
 more than five times greater than
North
Change preposition
in North
show examples
 America (0.2%) and Oceania (1.7%). In the overly cultivated sector, it impacted 7.7% of
land
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Europe
Use synonyms
, which was nearly double
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
than
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
North America. Surprisingly, Over-cultivation was not related to
land
Use synonyms
degrafation
Correct your spelling
degradation
 in the Oceanic region.
However
Linking Words
, the
land
Use synonyms
degration
Correct your spelling
degradation
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Oceania was majorly caused by
overly grazed
Verb problem
overgrazing
show examples
 (11.3%), which is extremely larger than the other two regions. In total, North America had only
total
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
five
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
land
Use synonyms
 degradation.
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Europe
Use synonyms
 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Oceania had respectively 23% and 13%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words land, europe with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Pie chart
  • Table
  • Main features
  • Comparisons
  • Decreasing productivity
  • Reasons
  • Regional variations
  • Data
  • Summarize
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