IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

IHappiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness?

Happiness
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 is perhaps the single most important thing in life. Whether
people
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realize
Change the spelling
realise
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 it or not, they
are
Correct pronoun usage
They are
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 usually seeking
happiness
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 for themselves and for their loved ones.
However
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, little is really understood about
happiness
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. Humans don’t generally seem able to define or say for certain how to achieve it.
This
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 essay will explore these issues. Defining
happiness
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 is quite difficult because it is essentially just a feeling, and
in
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particular
Punctuation problem
particular,
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 a temporary one. Everyone experiences
happiness
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 sometimes, but not all the time, and it is a deeply personal sensation. Is
happiness
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 the same experience for a four-year-old child and a
forty-yearold
Correct your spelling
forty-year-old
 woman?
This
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 seems unlikely. It
also
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 seems reasonable to assume that
happiness
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 is different for each person, and
also
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 that
happiness
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 will vary from culture to culture.
Therefore
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, it
hard
Verb problem
is hard
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 to produce a universally accepted definition of
happiness
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. Because
happiness
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 is different for each person, there is no guaranteed way to achieve
happiness
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.
However
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, there are some commonalities in terms of the factors that may lead to
this
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 state of feeling. Success seems to cause
happiness
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 in
people
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, as does an unexpected positive outcome. Feelings of closeness to another person typically cause us to feel
happiness
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, and other social or
familial
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Familial
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 factors often contribute as well.
Happiness
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 may
also
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 be related to self-satisfaction
an
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and
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 high self-esteem, and
of
Change preposition
apply
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participating effectively as part of a group. In conclusion,
happiness
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 is notoriously difficult to define because it is a fleeting sensation
that is
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 experienced differently by different
people
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 all around the world.
However
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, there are numerous possible factors that may contribute to making
people
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 happy.

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task response
To improve task response, be clear on the two asks in the question: why happiness is hard to define and what makes people happy. Add one or two simple, real examples for each factor.
linguistic precision
To fix language, keep to simple words. Check for small mistakes like missing words or hyphens and fix them.
coherence cohesion
For coherence, start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence and keep one main idea in it. Use linking words to move from idea to idea.
coherence cohesion
Use more linking words to show sequence and contrast, like first, also, but, however, and finally. This will help the flow of ideas.
task response
Make the conclusion restate the main point clearly and end with a short final thought.
structure
The essay has a clear start with a view on happiness and a closing.
content
It shows several ideas on what can make people happy.
insight
The idea of happiness being different for each person is shown.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • happiness
  • happy
  • joy
  • content
  • feel
  • feeling
  • life
  • difficult
  • hard
  • define
  • reason
  • factor
  • cause
  • culture
  • age
  • values
  • health
  • family
  • friends
  • relationships
  • money
  • income
  • home
  • safety
  • security
  • time
  • rest
  • balance
  • mood
  • attitude
  • hope
  • goal
  • meaning
  • purpose
  • plan
  • change
  • cope
  • gratitude
  • help
  • improve
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