IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

People are surrounded by all kinds of advertising. Some people believethat advertising has a negative effect on people's lives. To what extent do youagree or disagree?

There is an argument that advertising does harm to
people
Use synonyms
's
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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. From my perspective, I believe
advertisements
Use synonyms
 are beneficial to the economy.
People
Use synonyms
 who hold negative perspectives on advertising argue that
advertisements
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 will detrimentally drive
people
Use synonyms
's consumption.
However
Linking Words
, advertising serves as an information carrier, which will not override personal
judgement
Use the right word
judgment
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, a rational consumer, if he sees an advertisement
of
Change preposition
for
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 medical products, he will consider whether the
efficacies
Fix the agreement mistake
efficacy
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 suitable for him, rather than make an impulsive purchase.
In addition
Linking Words
, the herd mentality is another factor, which means
people
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 who buy a product follow the crowd
instead
Linking Words
 of making an independent decision.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is not because of the
advertisements
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, but because individuals are irrational in spending. Advertising bridges the supply-demand gap, which allows
people
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 to receive information and thereby activates
people
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's potential demands. Not only can
people
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 buy useful goods, but
Linking Words
also it can
Correct word order
it can also
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 benefit the producers. Take
apple
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Apple
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 sales as an example. The agricultural assistance advertisement helps farmers promote their apples, and thereby increases
the
Correct article usage
apply
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sales by 30%.
Then
Linking Words
, the farmers enlarge their production and hire more workers. It is essential that
advertisements
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 can not only improve
people
Use synonyms
's lives, but
also
Linking Words
 provide more opportunities for employment, and in turn form a great economic circle, which enhances
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economic development. In conclusion, advertising, as an information carrier, undoubtedly plays a significant role in the economy.
In addition
Linking Words
, it is the irrational consumption mindset that drives
people
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's
judgement
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judgment
show examples
, rather than
advertisements
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.

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structure
State a clear view in the intro and keep it in the rest of the essay.
coherence
Each paragraph should have one main idea and a link to the next.
coherence
Use more simple linking words to show cause, effect and contrast.
content
Give more explanations for each example and show how it helps your point.
grammar
Check noun and verb form and punctuation to avoid errors.
content
The essay has a clear view and tries to back it with reasons.
structure
The use of a real number (30%) shows effect and adds detail.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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