IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

There is a tendency that people change their jobs rapidly and frequently than before. What are the reasons? Is it a positive or negative development?

It is argued that the job cycle
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 about resigning and applying
Change preposition
for the
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 new one
Punctuation problem
, shift
show examples
shift
Correct subject-verb agreement
shifts
show examples
 rapidly and frequently than before. In my opinion, there are several reasons
contribute
Correct pronoun usage
that contribute
show examples
 to
this
Linking Words
 situation
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 I believe
that
Linking Words
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
show examples
 a negative development for
people
Use synonyms
. Some
people
Use synonyms
 in
30s
Correct pronoun usage
their 30s
show examples
 to 40s have experienced 1 to 2 jobs in a year. The most common reasons are seeking work-life balance and having an ambition for
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
 income. In general,
people
Use synonyms
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in
this
Linking Words
 period must have stable career paths and develop more professional skills or promotion. Changing jobs frequently leads to
people
Use synonyms
 not
familiar
Verb problem
being familiar
show examples
 with their work details and will find that it
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
hard to increase their income.
However
Linking Words
, others may say young adults are encouraged to change their
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 in
short
Correct article usage
a short
show examples
time
Use synonyms
, because they need to find
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 real wants
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 experiencing different tasks
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they have enough
time
Use synonyms
 to discover their own interests. If
people
Use synonyms
 can’t stay in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 same occupation for a
while
Linking Words
, they can’t gain more knowledge or achievement at work
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the companies need to invest more
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 hiring and training new employees.
Moreover
Linking Words
, artificial intelligence has been developed more and more cleverly and efficiently over
time
Use synonyms
. It is
easily
Replace the word
easy
show examples
 for them to overtake human abilities. In order to save expenditure and
time
Use synonyms
, it is possible that companies will transfer to rely on technology facilities or software if the tendency
that
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the public
change
Verb problem
to change
show examples
 their jobs rapidly is still growing. In conclusion, the trend of changing a new
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 or career
path
Fix the agreement mistake
paths
show examples
 frequently is a negative development for individuals. The public should put effort
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 learning more professional knowledge and gain more abilities to advance their income or get
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 promotion,
otherwise
Linking Words
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 will be potentially replaced by technology in the future.

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planning
Plan your essay. Say your view in the first line. Give two clear reasons, then end with a short close.
coherence
Make each paragraph have one main idea. Start with a topic sentence and use link words to fit ideas one after the other.
grammar
Use simple, exact grammar. Check verb form, preps, and plural use.
content
Give a concrete example for each point. This helps keep the point and show you know the job world.
tone
You give a clear view that changing jobs often is not good.
content
You name reasons such as work life balance and the need for money.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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