IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that schoolchildren should do their classwork individually. Other people believe that sometimes class work should be done in small groups. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Over the
last
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 decades, education
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
becoming
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
 substantial in every family. Schools are the shelter for
learning
Correct article usage
the learning
show examples
 system since
it is creating
Wrong verb form
they create
show examples
 the optimum environment for
children
Use synonyms
 to learn and gain knowledge. Many people think that
children
Use synonyms
 need to learn how to do their
work
Use synonyms
 from class
independently
Rephrase
apply
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
 others believe that
children
Use synonyms
 can learn better when they cooperate with their peers. I am evenly agree with both views and will discuss that in
this
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 essay. On the one side, A lot of families
incourage
Correct your spelling
encourage
 their
children
Use synonyms
 to engage
them selves
Use the right word
themselves
show examples
 in many social activities.
For instance
Linking Words
, a lot of summer camps are offering
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
volunteering programs for the young ones to participate in cleaning the beaches. Since that will teach them how to be an effective part of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society and learn how to
work
Use synonyms
 as a member of a group. The benefits of
this
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 activity
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 unlimited
due to
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 the unexpected situations that the child
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 to deal with.  On the other side, building a strong independent personality for the
children
Use synonyms
 requires
different
Correct article usage
a different
show examples
 system. Each parent should let their son or daughter
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
do the school
work
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
without
show examples
 any assistance. For illustration, many highly ranked professors in Egypt came from villages and
raised
Verb problem
were raised
show examples
 by an uneducated mothers who
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 never been enrolled in
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
. They were watching them closely
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 was
essencial
Correct your spelling
essential
 in
rising
Use the right word
raising
show examples
 the confidence level. 
To sum up
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, I firmly believe in both views, since the first is focusing on the success that came from
team
Use the right word
teamwork
show examples
work
Use synonyms
while
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 the second is about the
advantageous
Replace the word
advantages
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
independency
Replace the word
independence
show examples
 for the character.

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Task response
Be clear about your view at the start. State it in one clear sentence.
Structure
Use one idea per paragraph. Start with a topic sentence, then add one example.
Language
Fix spelling and grammar mistakes that stop the reader. Use simple, short sentences.
Content
Choose examples that fit the task. Do not use facts that are not true or hard to prove.
Content
You show both sides of the view.
Structure
There is a closing line that sums up.
Content
Some good ideas about teamwork and independence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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