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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The bar chart below shows estimated world illiteracy rates by region and by gender for the last year.

The bar chart below shows estimated world illiteracy rates by region and by gender for the last year.
This
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 bar chart illustrates how the estimated world
illiteracy
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rates
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 are,
influnced
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influenced
 by region and gender for
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last
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the last
show examples
 year. Totally,all these estimated world
illiteracy
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rates
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 in different regions show a clear tendency that the
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female’s
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female
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rates
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 are higher than
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male’s
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the male’s
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.
Besides
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of
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apply
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it, there is an
extral diference
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extra difference
--the
ones
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 of East
Asia
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 /Oceania,Sulo Saharan Africa,Arab States and South
Asia
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 show a huge
gap
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 between the
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male’s
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males
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 and
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female’s
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females
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,
while
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 the
one
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ones
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 of Developed Countries and Latin American/Caribbean show an
oppsite
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opposite
 situation. These four regions’
rate
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showing
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show
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 a huge
gap
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 between the
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male’s
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males’
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 and
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female’s
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females
show examples
,which are actually at
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a
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high level of
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rates
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rates,
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 have their own differences.The
the
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apply
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ones
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 of East
Asia
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 /Oceania are not as high as the other three
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apply
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ones
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,which
contains
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contain
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 about 8
percent
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per cent
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 for
male
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males
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 and 20
percent
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per cent
show examples
 for
female
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females
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.For the other three
ones
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,Sulo Saharan
Africa’s
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Africa
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 expresses that the
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male’s
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male illiteracy rate
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 is about 31% and about 48% for
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female’s
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females
show examples
.What’s more,in Arab States, the male
illiteracy
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rate
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 stands at approximately 29%,
while
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 the female
rate
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 climbs to around 52%, marking a gender
gap
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 of over 20 percentage points.
Similarly
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, in South
Asia
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, the male
rate
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 reaches about 34%,
whereas
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 the female
rate
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 peaks at roughly 56%, representing the widest gender
gap
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 across all regions.
On the other hand
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, developed countries have the lowest
illiteracy
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rates
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overall
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. Both men and women have
rates
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 below 3%, so the difference between genders is almost unnoticeable. Latin America and the Caribbean
also
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 have fairly small gaps
:
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;
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 around 10% of men cannot read or write,
while
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 about 12% of women cannot.
This
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 shows that literacy levels are more similar between men and women in these regions.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 82%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words illiteracy, rates, female’s, male’s, ones, asia, gap, rate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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