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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows estimated world illiteracy rates by region and by gender for the last year.

The bar chart below shows estimated world illiteracy rates by region and by gender for the last year.
The bar graph compares the estimated
illiteracy
Use synonyms
 percentages in the world as a whole
according to
Linking Words
 six different
regions
Use synonyms
 for the
last
Linking Words
 year.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the estimated
illiteracy
Use synonyms
 proportion above Sub-Saharan Africa, Arab States and South
Asia
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 widespread;
while
Linking Words
 the least proportion was found in Developed Countries.
Similarly
Linking Words
,
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 had higher
illiteracy
Use synonyms
 rates than
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 in these six
regions
Use synonyms
. Looking at the three various
regions
Use synonyms
 with the largest proportion,
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 in South
Asia
Use synonyms
 accounted for approximately 55%, followed by Arab States and Sub-Saharan Africa, at about 52% and 48% respectively. The figures for
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 in Arab States made up the least
pencentages
Correct your spelling
percentages
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 just under 30%,
whereras
Correct your spelling
whereas
 those in Sub-Saharan Africa and South
Asia
Use synonyms
 stood at over 30%, at 31% and 33% respectively. All of their
illiteracy
Use synonyms
 figures by female and male displayed huge gaps,
diveraging
Correct your spelling
diverging
 by roughly 20%. Turning now to the remaining
regions
Use synonyms
,
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 in East
Asia
Use synonyms
/Oceania
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 twice times more
than
Change preposition
as
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
male.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the rest of
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
regions
Use synonyms
 saw a small gap by gender. Particularly, the figures for female plus male
even
Verb problem
are even
show examples
 under 5% in Developed Countries.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words illiteracy, regions, asia with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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