IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The bar chart below shows estimated world illiteracy rates by region and by gender for the last year.

The bar chart below shows estimated world illiteracy rates by region and by gender for the last year.
The bar chart illustrates presumed universal
illiteracy
Use synonyms
rates
Use synonyms
 by six areas and by sex during the
last
Linking Words
 year.
Overall
Linking Words
,developed
countries
Use synonyms
 have lower
illiteracy
Use synonyms
rates
Use synonyms
 with
small
Correct article usage
a small
show examples
 gap between
female
Correct article usage
the female
show examples
illiteracy
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 and
male
Correct article usage
the male
show examples
illiteracy
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
.
By contrast
Linking Words
,South
Asia
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 higher
illiteracy
Use synonyms
rates
Use synonyms
 with
Correct article usage
a widen
show examples
widen
Replace the word
wider
show examples
 gap between
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
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 and
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
.
Illiteracy
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rates
Use synonyms
 of all 6 regions have one similarity,which is
female
Correct determiner usage
that female
show examples
illiteracy
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 figures are higher than
male’s
Check wording
males
show examples
.
Compare
Wrong verb form
Compared
show examples
 with three regions,developed
countries
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, Latin American/Caribbean
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 East
Asia
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/Oceania have lower
illiteracy
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rates
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,and the percentages of women and men are close.
However
Linking Words
,
illiteracy
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rates
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 of developed
countries
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 by
males
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 and
females
Use synonyms
 are both under
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
5%,followed by Latin American/Caribbean,
the
Rephrase
where the
show examples
rates
Use synonyms
 of women are around 12% and the
rates
Use synonyms
 of men are approximately 10%.The
illiteracy
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rates
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In
Fix capitalization
in
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 East
Asia
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/Oceania,
females
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 and
males
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 occupy respectively 20% and 18%.
Rest
Correct article usage
The rest
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 of the
countries
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 have higher
illiteracy
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rates
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.The
rate
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 of sub-Saharan Africa
by
Change preposition
among
show examples
males
Use synonyms
 and
females
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 respectively 31% and 47%.And for Arab States,the
illiteracy
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rates
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 of men and women separately are 28% and 52%.
Lastly
Linking Words
,
The
Fix capitalization
the
show examples
rate
Use synonyms
 of South
Asia
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by
Change preposition
among
show examples
males
Use synonyms
 and
females
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 respectively 34% and 55%

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words illiteracy, rates, countries, rate, asia, males, females with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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