IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Nowadays many people have access to computers and a large number of children enjoy playing video games.What are the advantgaes and disadvantages of playing video games for children?

Nowadays, computer and
video
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games
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 are very command
in
Change preposition
among
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large
Correct article usage
a large
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 among of
children
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. Some people believe that playing
video
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games
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 can help
yong
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young
 people
learen
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learn
, but
the
Correct article usage
apply
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other
prople
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people
 think that
Correct pronoun usage
it will
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will act
Verb problem
can cause
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somthing
Correct your spelling
some
 problems.
This
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 essay will discuss both the
advantgaes
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advantages
 and disadvantages of playing
video
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games
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 for
children
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. One
clea advantgas
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clear advantage
 is that
video
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games
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 can help
children
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 to learn
haw
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how
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 to fix
problemes
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problems
show examples
 and improve their
solving
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problem-solving
show examples
 and reaction skills.
For instance
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, many
games
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 need quick thinking and
thinking
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apply
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strategic planning, which can train their brain.
In addition
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,
onlien
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online
games
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 can help
children
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bult
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build
 their
communicate
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communication
show examples
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
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 and
team work
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teamwork
show examples
.
for
Fix capitalization
For
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exsample
Correct your spelling
example
, team
games
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such
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 as Minecraft or Fortnite can help them learn cooperation and teamwork.
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however
Fix capitalization
However
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, there are
also
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includes
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apply
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some disadvantages. Some
children
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 are stuck with it and forget to study their
homwork
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homework
 and
test
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tests
show examples
,
that
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which
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 can really
hreat
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hurt
 their future. Another issue is that violent
games
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 may affect
children
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’s
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
. Some young players might become more aggressive or copy what they see in
games
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. In
cinclution
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conclusion
, playing
video
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games
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 can bring both positive and negative effects. They can develop
children
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’s thinking skills and social abilities, but
also
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 cause addiction and health problems.
Therefore
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,
children
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 should play moderately and parents should guide them carefully.

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language
Fix big spell and word use. Write in short, clear words.
structure
Plan first. Put one idea in each paragraph and have a clear start and end.
task
Say your view in the first line and keep it in the rest, then add facts.
content
Give more precise ideas or facts for each side to show a full view.
content
The essay tries to show both sides.
structure
There is a short end that gives advice.
content
Examples are used, like Minecraft and Fortnite.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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