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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagram shows the process by which milk and related products are produced. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features.

The diagram shows the process by which milk and related products are produced. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features.
The given diagram provides the key stages in
production
Correct article usage
the production
show examples
 of
milk
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the process consists of seven main stages, beginning with grazing cows and being milked twice daily using automated machines, culminating in
labeling
Change the spelling
labelling
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 and dispatching
milk
Use synonyms
-based products.
At the first stage
Linking Words
,
procedure
Correct article usage
the procedure
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 starts with dairy cows feeding on open pastures, delivering fresh nutrients crucial for the production of
milk
Use synonyms
.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 ,cattle  are milked twice a day by using special machines. The
milk
Use synonyms
 is held in vast refrigeration storage in order to preserve it fresh . Once
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 the storage is complete, the refrigerated
milk
Use synonyms
transported
Verb problem
is transported
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 by tanker trucks
toward
Change preposition
to
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 a processing plant. At the processing stage ,dairy
milk
Use synonyms
 is processed and separated into
Use synonyms
milk -based
Use the right word
milk-based
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 products like cheese,cream and butter.
Finally
Linking Words
,the pasteurised and packaged goods are prepared for sale.
Linking Words
Subsequently
Add a comma
Subsequently,
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 there is allocation to supermarkets and shops ,where it becomes available to consumers In conclusion,processing
milk
Use synonyms
 and products made from
milk
Use synonyms
 for commercial
follows
Check wording
purposes follows
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 a systematic and linear sequence ,ensuring that safe and
high quality
Use the right word
high-quality
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 dairy items reach
costumers
Use the right word
customers
show examples
 efficiently

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words milk with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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