IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people feel that governments should take a large proportion of people' salaries to pay for public services such as roads and schools. Other thinks high taxes are bad. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many
people
Use synonyms
 feel that
taxes
Use synonyms
 are essential for
Linking Words
overall
Correct article usage
the overall
show examples
 development of the country, others tend to argue the opposite, they think
taxes
Use synonyms
 are not allocated correctly
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the
money
Use synonyms
 that they provide to the
government
Use synonyms
 does not change much.
This
Linking Words
 raises the question
whether
Change preposition
of whether
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
should citizens
Correct word order
citizens should
show examples
 give more or less
money
Use synonyms
 to the
government
Use synonyms
?
Change the punctuation
.
show examples
 It is generally considered that the more
money
Use synonyms
 the
government
Use synonyms
 receives, the better
overall
Linking Words
 life
people
Use synonyms
 of the
county
Use the right word
country
show examples
 will have. The whole reason for
taxes
Use synonyms
 is to
develop
Verb problem
improve
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
 living situations.
Taxes
Use synonyms
 may be used for
:
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 building roads, improving the environment, improving employment and
also
Linking Words
 supporting the elderly with pensions every month.
For
Linking Words
example
Punctuation problem
example,
show examples
 in the Netherlands
where
Punctuation problem
, where
show examples
 the tax rate is one of the highest, at approximately more than 50% the living standards are on a very high level
, citizens
Punctuation problem
. Citizens
show examples
 of the Netherlands are more than happy to pay their
taxes
Use synonyms
 because the salary that they receive is enormous.
Netherlands
Correct article usage
The Netherlands
show examples
government
Use synonyms
 allocates
big
Correct article usage
a big
show examples
 chunk of tax
money
Use synonyms
 to
development of the
Correct word order
the development of
show examples
 working conditions
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 even
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 minimum-wage job pays enough to live comfortably.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 in some
countries
Use synonyms
 think the
government
Use synonyms
 is not using their
money
Use synonyms
Change preposition
in the
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 way that
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
would help their living conditions. In
countries
Use synonyms
 like Georgia
Use synonyms
people
Punctuation problem
, people
show examples
 physically can not afford to pay more
taxes
Use synonyms
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 they are paying at
this
Linking Words
 moment, the main reason being the low income they receive each month. In
countries
Use synonyms
 like Georgia,
people
Use synonyms
's main priority is to survive with the resources they have. After considering,
while
Linking Words
 it is true that high
taxes
Use synonyms
 can be the best for a country's development, there are
also
Linking Words
 other examples to consider
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as Georgia, where if
people
Use synonyms
 gave the
government
Use synonyms
 more
money
Use synonyms
 ,they would even struggle to pay for the utilities.

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coherence cohesion
You show both sides and give examples, but link between ideas is weak. Plan more before you write to make the flow smooth.
task achievement
Make your conclusion clear. State your view plainly in the final paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Use clear topic sentences. Each paragraph should have one main idea and be linked to the question.
coherence cohesion
Improve grammar and sentence form. Watch long sentences and punctuation.
lexical resource
Use simple, common words. Avoid long phrases; stick to common words.
task achievement
Examples are good but explain more how they show the point and connect to the claim.
strength
The essay covers two sides of the topic.
strength
There are real place examples (Netherlands, Georgia).

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • public services
  • equitable society
  • disposable income
  • consumer spending
  • innovation
  • entrepreneurship
  • economic growth
  • tax revenue
  • investment
  • efficiently maintained
  • neglect and decay
  • motivation to work
  • financial growth
  • government expenditure
  • corruption
  • wastage
  • prosperity
  • societal infrastructure
  • essential services
What to do next:
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