A rise in chilhood obesity is a real threat to haelth to health with an increasing number of children now classified as overweight.What are the causes of the problem and what measures can be taken to solve them.

Obesity is starting to become a serious

problem

Use synonyms

amongst

children

Use synonyms

in the modern day. Medical professionals and experts believe

this

Linking Words

to be an epidemic

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

and call for it to be a national concern.

This

Linking Words

can hinder a child's growth and can be the leading cause of cardiovascular disease, diabetes, and a list of other issues in

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

adulthood.

This

Linking Words

essay aims to demonstrate the root cause behind childhood obesity and aims to provide practical solutions towards the resolution of

this

Linking Words

problem

Use synonyms

. One of the primary enablers of

this

Linking Words

epidemic is the easy access to pre-packaged foods and quick service meals.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, these meals are calorie-dense with high proportions of sodium, sugar, preservatives, and quick-digesting carbohydrates. Studies have shown that

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

frequent consumption of fast food without adequate exercise to expend the consumed energy

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

is very detrimental to a young individual's well-being.

Children

Use synonyms

nowadays

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

choose to spend more time indoors watching television, playing video games, and not engaging in physical activity.

This

Linking Words

provides the fuel for an unhealthy lifestyle and habits. But the blame should not fall on these young

children

Use synonyms

Punctuation problem

;

show examples

it is

also

Linking Words

a parent's responsibility to maintain their offspring's health and education. As there is no single cause behind the

problem

Use synonyms

of gaining weight, there is no one

solution

Use synonyms

. Rising awareness is the primary key to treating obesity. It is possible to say that

children

Use synonyms

do not realise the importance of a healthy life

Linking Words

therefore

Punctuation problem

; therefore

show examples

, parents should care about their kids' health. Another

solution

Use synonyms

in addition

Linking Words

, is having a flexible lifestyle and following a special diet.

For instance

Linking Words

, recent studies illustrate the loss of

children

Use synonyms

's weight after following one kind of diet that helps them control their amount of eating. In conclusion, there is no easy

solution

Use synonyms

this

Linking Words

difficult issue.

However

Linking Words

, the most important thing for individuals and society as a whole is to know the

problem

Use synonyms

and be committed to finding another beneficial

solution

Use synonyms

divyamharbada5454

Oct 13, 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure

Improve focus. State the causes and the solutions clearly in separate parts. Use 2–3 strong ideas for each and link them with simple signposts.

content

Give more detail. Use facts or numbers about obesity or foods to back your points. Name a few real ideas or programs.

language

Watch your grammar. Use short, clear sentences. Break long ideas into two simple sentences.

cohesion

Use simple linking words to show flow, like first, also, then, however, so, as a result.

structure

The essay starts with a clear aim to discuss causes and solutions.

content

There is a good effort to cover both causes and ways to fix the problem.

content

The writer tries to include a range of ideas (food, activity, parent role).

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

316 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

rise
increase
problem
health
weight
child
children
food
eat
drink
water
fruit
junk
meal
snack
move
walk
run
play
exercise
school
home
family
parents
plan
change
reduce
limit
more
less
time
today
because
so
and
but
there
this
that
you
your
help
safe
park
city
road
tax
law
start
stop
do
can
will
work
care
family
child
children

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
You have recently made a purchase from the local department store. However, when you arrived home, you found a fault awith it. Write a letter to the manager, say what product is, explain the problem and say what you’d like to be done about it.
I am writing regarding a gadget I purchased yesterday on the 22nd of November from Star Departmental Store, located in Sheridan College Plaza Brampton which I found defective when I tried it at home.
7
band
Today more and more tourists are visitin places where conditions are difficult , such as sahara desertor the Antartica. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the tourists who visit such places.
These days, transportation has been developing immediately; moreover, people can visit various areas in the world that are so far from them; as a result, the tourism industry has been evolving; however, we can see most people like visiting places that have various condition like Sahara desert , the Antartica, and so on. While visiting different places has a lot of benefits, I still that they cannot overshadow the drawbacks.
7.5
band
Expert say older people were happier and healthier in the past because they did more exercise and spent more time with their family and friends, whereas, now many suffer loneliness and health problems. What are the causes of this and what are some solutions?
In contemporary society, a prevailing belief suggests that older individuals were purportedly happier and healthier in the past due to increased physical activity and stronger social bonds. Conversely, today's elderly population faces challenges such as loneliness and health issues. This essay will delve into the causes behind this shift and propose potential solutions to mitigate these concerns.
6.5
band
some feel that tourism endangers culture while others feel it is benefical discuss both sides and give yuor own opinion
Tourism is an important industry in many countries, bringing economic growth and cultural exchange. However, some people believe that tourism endangers local cultures, while others think it benefits them. This essay will discuss both views and give my own opinion.
6
band
Everybody should be allowed admission to university study programs regardless of their academic ability. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?
Nowadays, there are more than hundreds of universities spread around the world, however, only a few universities can placed at the top for a long time. It is because those institutions only accept top-notch students to join, one of the things that they look up to is academic ability. As a result, a decent education level can be enjoyed only for certain people, which are most of them from privileged families who can afford their children with several courses to enter a university. This phenomenon makes several educators view that the campus should allow everybody, regardless of academic ability. I partially disagree with this statement. At some point, university has the right to maintain its inputs and outputs quality, one of which is through academic selection. However, the institutions must consider other factors besides academics that might add new colour to their outputs.

A rise in chilhood obesity is a real threat to haelth to health with an increasing number of children now classified as overweight.What are the causes of the problem and what measures can be taken to solve them.

You have recently made a purchase from the local department store. However, when you arrived home, you found a fault awith it. Write a letter to the manager, say what product is, explain the problem and say what you’d like to be done about it.

Today more and more tourists are visitin places where conditions are difficult , such as sahara desertor the Antartica. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the tourists who visit such places.

Expert say older people were happier and healthier in the past because they did more exercise and spent more time with their family and friends, whereas, now many suffer loneliness and health problems. What are the causes of this and what are some solutions?

some feel that tourism endangers culture while others feel it is benefical discuss both sides and give yuor own opinion

Everybody should be allowed admission to university study programs regardless of their academic ability. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?