Television as powerful educational tool or mindless entertainment ? What extent do you agree or disagree ?

There is a controversial question that has been asked is whether
TV
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is
a
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an
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instructional instrument or mindless entertainment. Personally, I cannot fully agree nor disagree with
this
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bold statement for a variety of reasons. There
indubitably
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apply
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are many merits that the
TV
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could bring to toddlers as
a
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an
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educational tool.
To begin
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with, many programs that
targeted
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target
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kids
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usually are
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are usually
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made by academic
institution
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institutions
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in order to
aid
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help
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kids
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learn better.
For instance
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, programs
such
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as
peppa pig
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Peppa Pig
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or 5
minutes craft
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Minutes Craft
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are created to foster children's curiosity and imagination
, they
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. They
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help
kids
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to made
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make
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self craft
Use the right word
self-crafted
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items
as well as
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entertain them, which is very beneficial for the growth of the
kid's
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kids'
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intelligence.
Thus
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,
TV
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does play a crucial role in fostering the
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kids
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kids'
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growth emotionally. Despite these circumstances,
misued
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misusing
this
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device would bring detrimental drawbacks.
Firstly
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, TVs are highly addictive
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. pair
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pair
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Pairing
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with
parents
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parents'
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negligence will
resulted
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result
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in the
kid's
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kids'
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attachment to
this
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new form of entertainment, which is not only time-consuming but
also
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harmful
for
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to
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their health.
For example
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,
kids
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in many
nation
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nations
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nowadays
are
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apply
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tend to use
this
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electronic device for more than 10 hours a day, making their eyes weak and
have
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leading
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a chronic
disease
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diseases
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.
BBC
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The BBC
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has reported that 70% of children
until
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by
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2020
wear
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will wear
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eyeglasses
due to
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the
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apply
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early
interact
Replace the word
interaction
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with the
TV
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without
parents
Check wording
parents'
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supervision.
Therefore
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, it is crucial for adults to take part in the child's entertainment. In conclusion, whether
TV
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is
a
Correct article usage
an
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educatonal
Correct your spelling
educational
instrument or not. It is still a fact that we as adults should help the children
utilizing
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utilise
show examples
this
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device flawlessly and not faultily to prevent any detrimental effect that phenomenon has.

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Task response
Take a clear view. State your position in the first paragraph and stay with it.
Coherence and cohesion
Use more links to join ideas. Each paragraph should have one main idea and a clear link from sentence to sentence.
Grammar and accuracy
Check your grammar and spell more. Look at verb form, articles, and plural.
Vocabulary and style
Use very simple, plain words. Keep short sentences to be clear.
Content
Give real, simple examples that you can prove and avoid ideas that need proof you do not have.
Task response
The essay shows a wish to discuss both sides of the topic.
Coherence
There are example ideas to back up points.
What to do next:
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