The chart below shows the percentage of the day working adults spent doing different activities in a particular country in 1958 and in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the percentage of the day working adults spent doing different activities in a particular country in 1958 and in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The chart below shows the percentage of the day working adults spent doing different activities in a particular country in 1958 and in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The charts illustrate the percentage of
time
Use synonyms
spent by working adults on various activities in 1958 and 2008.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it is clearly visible that people have given more
time
Use synonyms
to work than to family and friends.Because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
adults used to go out with their loved ones more in 1958 , which has dramatically reduced to 8% in 2008, earlier was 19%. Because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
most of us in the 20th century want to relax at home rather than be with someone. So does the chart show, relaxing at home is 13%, which was 8%.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, the job has increased from 33% to 42%, along travelling to work has
also
Linking Words
increased from 2% to 8%.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the sleeping
time
Use synonyms
has
also
Linking Words
reduced from 32% to 25%.
Along with
Linking Words
that,interests like playing sports have
also
Linking Words
increased in our daily lives. To summarise, modernisation is making people work more and
due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, they need
time
Use synonyms
to relax and recharge their energy.
Hence
Linking Words
, maintaining relations is getting tougher
due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, due to".
Vocabulary: Replace the words time with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reduced" was used 2 times.
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