IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Today, many people do not know their neighbors in large cities. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this?

In the contemporary epoch, the majority of individuals have no close relations with their neighbours in the urban areas.
This
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 trend has some challenges,
such
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 as detrimental social bonds and psychological issues. Tremendous solutions can be implemented to tackle these problems, like improving awareness in the community about the importance of social relationships.
This
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 essay will explore both issues and solutions to alleviate
this
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 issue. There are numerous drawbacks
of
Change preposition
to
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 poor relations with people nearby.
Firstly
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,
this
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 may lead to substandard connections between society members.
As a result
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,
raising
Wrong verb form
it raises
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 the rate of isolation and depression in some situations. A prime example
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
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 is in Japan, which has high
suicidal
Replace the word
suicide
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 rates
due to
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loneliness
Correct article usage
the loneliness
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 of many citizens who prefer to live alone. To alleviate
this
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 problem, a lot of actions should be implemented.
To begin
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 with, improving social knowledge about the benefits of strong bonds between residents can eliminate the suicidal rates
due to
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 depression.
Moreover
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, authorities can arrange some societal events to enhance connections among the community members. A perfect example for
this
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 is in Egypt, the government arranges some social events quarterly to encourage
public
Correct article usage
the public
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 to meet and communicate,
such
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 as the Arabian Food Event and the International Traditional Clothing Event.
To sum up
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, living alone and away from people has significant negative effects , like poor communication and psychological problems.
However
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, authorities have the upper hand
to tackle
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in tackling
show examples
this
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 trend by developing awareness and providing some gathering events to strengthen the community bonds.

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structure
Plan before writing: state the problem, then give a fix, and finish with a short end.
language
Use short, clear sentences. Avoid long, tricky phrases.
cohesion
Give more clear links between ideas (first, also, however, for example).
content
Give one strong example for each point and explain how it links to the idea.
accuracy
Check grammar and spelling to avoid mistakes.
strength
The essay has a clear aim and talks about both problems and ways to fix them.
strength
It uses real place examples.
structure
There is a simple plan that shows two parts: problem and fix.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sense of community
  • isolation
  • loneliness
  • support network
  • sense of security
  • trust
  • cooperation
  • social support
  • integration
  • community events
  • shared spaces
  • neighborly interactions
  • neighborhood watch programs
  • community engagement
  • technology
  • connect
What to do next:
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