IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In some countries, there is an increase in the number of parents who educate their children at home. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Nowadays
Punctuation problem
Nowadays,
show examples
 there are many countries
that
Linking Words
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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getting up
Verb problem
increasing
show examples
 the number of
parents
Use synonyms
 teaching
yours
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 kids at home. I think
this
Linking Words
 has some positive and negative sides. The positive is
the
Correct word choice
that the
show examples
 children will spend more
time
Use synonyms
 with their
parents
Use synonyms
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
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another
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
Correct word choice
other hand
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hand
Add a comma
hand,
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 they
are
Verb problem
do
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 not spend
time
Use synonyms
 with other kids.
Linking Words
Therefore
Punctuation problem
Therefore,
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 the positive development is about the
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
stay
Wrong verb form
staying
show examples
 a good part of their lives together
the
Change preposition
with the
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parents
Use synonyms
. I think the best thing that we people have
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is
the
Correct article usage
apply
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time
Use synonyms
, I think the most important reason for these
parents
Use synonyms
teach
Verb problem
to teach
show examples
 them at home.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
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 we are always busy at work, but some
parents
Use synonyms
 choose
work
Verb problem
to work
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 less to spend more
time
Use synonyms
 with their family. In
Use the right word
addition
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addiction
Add a comma
addiction,
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 they will want
this
Linking Words
 kind of
educate
Replace the word
education
show examples
 to enjoy these moments. But it could be a problem
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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social skills.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 could be a problem for the social
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their sons. These days
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
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 essential
have
Verb problem
to have
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an
Correct article usage
apply
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experience with
another
Fix the agreement mistake
other
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 people to grow up with confidence when we are in in group, as
class
Change preposition
in class
show examples
,
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
at work
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
 will not get
this
Linking Words
 skill studying at home. In
Use the right word
addition
show examples
addiction
Add a comma
addiction,
show examples
 they will learn and have fun when they
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
study with another ones at school, and there are a lot of
techiques
Correct your spelling
techniques
 that the
parents
Use synonyms
 haven't to execute it. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
 I think there are two sides
one
Punctuation problem
, one
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 of them is
because
Change preposition
that
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 they can spend
a
Correct article usage
an
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 amazing
time
Use synonyms
 with those
parents
Use synonyms
, but they will miss the social
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 when
start
Correct pronoun usage
they start
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adult life because
had
Wrong verb form
they have
show examples
 not a experience with
another
Fix the agreement mistake
other
show examples
 kids to understand
how
Correct word choice
what
show examples
is life
Correct word order
life is
show examples
in
Change preposition
like in
show examples
 society.

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planning
Plan first. Start with a short opening that states your view. Then give 2 or 3 ideas in the body and a short ending.
organization
Make each idea easy to follow. Use simple link words like first, next, also, but to show how ideas connect.
content
Give one or two clear examples for each idea. Do not repeat the same point.
language
Check the grammar. Use short sentences. Use has/have correctly and check punctuation.
content
The essay shows both sides of the issue.
structure
There is a conclusion.
cohesion
Some linking words are used to connect ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • tailor the curriculum
  • personalized educational experience
  • safe learning environment
  • bullying
  • peer pressure
  • social issues
  • extracurricular activities
  • social interaction
  • social development
  • real-world skills
  • academic progress
  • flexibility in scheduling
  • unique circumstances
  • special needs
  • standardized assessments
  • accountability measures
  • quality of education
  • frequent travel
What to do next:
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