The graph below shows expenditure between two countries on consumer goods in 2010

The graph below shows expenditure between two countries on consumer goods in 2010
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The graph below shows expenditure between two countries on consumer goods in 2010
The bar graph exhibits the amount of money that was spent both in France and in the United Kingdom during 2010 on five common items
:
Punctuation problem
:
show examples
Cars, Computers, Books, Perfume and Cameras. Units are measured in
pounds
Use synonyms
sterling.
Overall
Linking Words
, the category in which the
most
Correct word choice
largest
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amount of money was spent was automobiles. The country
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
disbursed the most on it was the United Kingdom
;
Punctuation problem
,
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reaching 450,000
pounds
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the least expenditure registered in both
countries
Use synonyms
was perfume, with France marginally reaching over 150,000. As for computers, both
countries
Use synonyms
had pretty similar spending, remaining stable between 350,000 and 400,000.
Conversely
Linking Words
, the expenditure on cameras was the biggest discrepancy in the graph between the two
countries
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
England registered 150,000
pounds
Use synonyms
spent, in France, the total exceeded 350,000
pounds
Use synonyms
. Regarding the book columns, they highlight a difference between the two
countries
Use synonyms
. The
iberian
Fix capitalization
Iberian
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country spent 350,000 on books
while
Linking Words
Britain
hit
Verb problem
spent
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over 400,000.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
contrast is much smaller than the one in the camera category. In summary, the country with the highest outlay was Britain
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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the consumer goods where
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
money was spent between the two
countries
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
cars.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Change the seventh paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words pounds, countries with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the seventh paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • expenditure
  • consumer goods
  • chart
  • countries
  • overall
  • compare
  • analyze
  • categories
  • consumer spending
  • trends
  • proportions
  • statistics
  • increase
  • decrease
  • significant
  • notable
  • remarkable
  • substantial
  • considerable
  • determine
  • conclude
  • in conclusion
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