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Band 4.5

In the past, most working people had only one job. However, nowadays, more and more people have more than one job at the same time. What are the reasons for this development? What are the advantages and disadvantages of having more than one job? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowlege or experience.

In early ages, a predominant number of individuals
,
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apply
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 used to have a single occupation. In the meantime, it is often visible,
people
Use synonyms
 do more than a single
job
Use synonyms
,
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apply
show examples
 because
,
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apply
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 of the increase in
,
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apply
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 household expenses.
Linking Words
Furthermore
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Furthermore,
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 it could lead to several benefits,
such
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 as enjoying the standard of
life
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,
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;
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on the other hand
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, experiencing drawbacks,
such
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 as missing
the
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apply
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spending
time
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 with
,
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apply
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 loved ones. Without a doubt, human
being
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beings
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has
Wrong verb form
have
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 to pay several bills in order to have
expected
Correct article usage
an expected
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unstressful
Use the right word
stress-free
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life
Use synonyms
. Because of high inflation,
increasing
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the increase
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of
Change preposition
in
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 utilities and rent of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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houses,
people
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 cannot
offord
Correct your spelling
afford
 the
life
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the
Use the right word
they
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 wanted to live.
Linking Words
Therefore
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Therefore,
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 to give a
phenomeanant
Correct your spelling
phenomenal
life
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 to the loved ones, working professionals are tent to have another
job
Use synonyms
. Parents cannot pay the education fee
of
Change preposition
for
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 their children. Consider
these
Fix the agreement mistake
this
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 situation in
to
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apply
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an account, it is obvious that
,
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apply
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people
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 do more than one
job
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thesedays
Correct your spelling
these days
. It is
oftenly
Correct your spelling
often
 argued that
,
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apply
show examples
 many individuals are
like
Use the right word
likely
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 to have a quality
life
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. As an example, when they
looking
Verb problem
are looking
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 to purchase any goods, they always consider
about
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apply
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the brand of the product. They might usually think
those
Correct word choice
that those
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 who can afford branded items
,
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apply
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 they are having a quality
life
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.
By contrast
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, when
people
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 spend their
time
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alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 in their jobs, they are always missing the precious
time
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 with the
people
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who
Correct pronoun usage
whom
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 they love. As an example, one of my
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
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 has three
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
 jobs.
Sometime
Use the right word
Sometimes
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, he has to work
during
Change preposition
at
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 weekends and
also
Linking Words
night
Change preposition
at night
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. He always
miss
Correct subject-verb agreement
misses
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 the special
occassions
Correct your spelling
occasions
 of his family because of the number of work shifts
,
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apply
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 that he has to cover. In conclusion,
Because
Fix capitalization
because
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 of the high cost of living,
people
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 need to have more than one
job
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, which
is leading
Wrong verb form
leads
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 to several advantages and disadvantages,
such
Linking Words
 as experiencing
standard
Correct article usage
a standard
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life
Use synonyms
 and missing their blessed
time
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 with their family
respectively
Rephrase
apply
show examples
.

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structure
Improve structure: start with a clear intro, then reasons, then advantages and disadvantages, and finish with a short conclusion.
language
Use simple, correct sentences. Check spelling and word order; avoid long, run-on lines.
content
Give more examples or facts to back up points, and link ideas with clear transitions.
content
Some ideas on why people have more than one job are shown.
structure
Attempts to discuss both sides (pros and cons).
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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