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Writing Samples
Band 7

The tables below give information about sales of fair trade-labelled coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004 in five European countries. Summarise the information be selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relavent.

The tables below give information about sales of fair trade-labelled coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004 in five European countries. Summarise the information be selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relavent.
The tables illustrate the earnings from Fairtrade-labelled coffee and
bananas
Use synonyms
 in 1999 and 2004 in five European countries.
Overall
Linking Words
, sales of coffee have increased in all the countries.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the business of
bananas
Use synonyms
 has either
reduced
Verb problem
decreased
show examples
 in some countries or has increased significantly.
Firstly
Linking Words
, within half
half-decade
Use the right word
a decade
show examples
, the number of coffee consumers in the UK has increased to more than 13 times their initial numbers.
Further
Linking Words
, in Switzerland, citizens started consuming
bananas
Use synonyms
 at double the rate than before.
Similarly
Linking Words
, sales in Belgium have increased by 70%.
However
Linking Words
, earnings in Denmark and Sweden remained stagnant.
Secondly
Linking Words
, leading as the top shoppers of
Bananas
Use synonyms
, Switzerland shows a huge surge in sales , from 15 million to 47 million. The UK and Belgium have
also
Linking Words
 increased their consumption to more than five and six times
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, merchandising of the product in Sweden and Denmark
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 reduced to almost half
withing
Use the right word
within
show examples
 a span of 5 years.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "on the other hand".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words bananas with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reduced" was used 2 times.
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